So Psychiatry. Wow! There is something, an inherent, ever-present sentiment.....a disbelief of sorts, that these clinicians can remain Doctors, sane-headed Doctors. It is interesting to listen to the calm and off-hand manner in which the patients speak. Stories seeming to be absolutely impossible, are said with such belief, it is SCARY. These people have a weird expressionless look in their eyes. Apart from that, extremely normal. And, of course, in our posting, we learnt about :
1. Schizophrenia
2. Bipolar Affective Disorder with Psychotic signs
3. Manic Episodes
Almost every second patient seemed to suffer from some kind of auditory and visual hallucinations.
That way, a very easy case to diagnose.
The Mental Retardation cases were heart-wrenching. We had a case of two 27 yr old brothers, who were mentally reatarded in the severest way. They couldn't utter a word , only identified individuals. Their father looked so old and worn-out and tired, I couldn't get his image out of my head for a very long time (stilll can't). The world is such an unfair place. Firstly, people are financially unequal, and to top that, the lowest class of people have to suffer from such disasters. Disasters that need the financial help to run a decent course, a course that is manageable. A mentally-retarded child is loved despite everything by his parentsm probably, even more because of his condition. It is killing to imagine, being in that 60 yr old father's shoes, wondering about the future of his two children, after he may be well beyond the capacity to provide for them....to imagine how he has spent all these years having to look after two children, he could never expect himself to hate or be taken away from him, and yet at times, wish for the same. It aches so much, and I felt relief, and still do, when he mentioned that he also has another son and daughter.
This is the only part of being a doctor that I don't like. Some patients, with the baggage they bring along, touch the most sensitive part of my soul, and almost always, I wish I could run away from it all, and never feel all this stuff.
Any way, I topped in Psychiatry. 37/50!!! It a second. After having got our Gynaec journals checked, the CR told me I did amazingly well in the term-end, and that our HOU was very happy with me. Now this. I feel previleged and lucky. I'm finally making some headway, and it feels like it. So satisfying, and a confirmation that I have chosen the right field.
Our current posting is Radiology. Very interesting. The best part of it is, the posting gets over by 11 30 am. So I easily get about an hour and a half in the library. Plus, I really like it, and the branch is one of my choices for a PG in.
My ICMR project didn't get selected. Only three out of like an easy 15, got selected. I'll still be doing it. The news was saddening, but I don't want my research being wasted, and I intend to see this project through.
Thats about it. We're going to Mauritius next week. I am SO excited!!! Can't wait! And I will write before we leave... I promise myself that.
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