Angry

I am so ANGRY rite now. Angry to the extent that my concentration is being intercepted by all sorts of childish thoughts about what I would like to do to the person concerned. That led to me writing. Nothing frees my mind more than putting down in words how exactly I feel.

About two years back, we were celebrating the fact that Paediatrics does not include a journal. We did not know then, about a notebook that you have to prepare. This notebook is supposed to have 30 cases. Ok, so I came to know that this year. I spent two whole days and the night in between them, writing this notebook and managed to get that load off my head before the term end examination was done. Unluckily for me, by the time I went to the respective teachers, they weren’t in a mood to sign.

Today, I got the signature from my second CR pretty easily. She was sweet enough to just sign in the index and told us to put ticks inside ourselves. No, it the other CR who’s the nidus of my anger.

Since, in second year we did not know about this journal thing, we didn’t bother to really approach any body. Now 2 years down the line, we have genuine cases in our notebooks, but no CR to get them checked from. The current CRs are playing handball with us (we being that poor ball). First, the CR started checking my journal, but then he got bored and shooed us off saying that he’d never seen our faces, that we weren’t posted under him, so he couldn’t give us his signature. We had to go to the other CR, who told us we had to get permission from the lecturer so that the CR would be eligible to check our journals. All this, despite telling her (and him) that they’d given signatures to the rest of my batch.

 Finally, after pleading to him and given him his supposed due share of respect, he said he’ll check our journals at 7:30 pm. I was not in the mood to go all the way to college, 10 kms away (100 bucks by rick one way) for a signature I wasn’t sure of getting. I gave my journal to my hostelite friend and told her to get it signed for me. But, I should’ve realised that this CR is a jackass through and through. He expects people to come all the way from home to get his darling signatures. And, when they don’t arrive, he simply says, “ No. Tell her to come herself.”

I don’t understand what problem these residents have. It may be called human nature to reap the benefits of attention showered on you once in a while, but, seriously, do you do that when you’re dealing with 9^th semester students, who will be appearing for the Final MBBS exams in 2 months time?? Are you that cold-hearted? What does he know about the trouble of coming all the way from home to college. After all, he isn’t a localite, right?

Jerk, absolute jerk. Ultimately, we have to go to him any way. Because, our appearing or not appearing for the practical exam depends on that signature of his in the index, doesn’t it?

Jerk. I hope he fails in his exam. Or at least, if not that extreme, I hope he falls down after I’ve gotten his signature and fractures his hand so that he can’t sign any more. That’ll save quite some time and energy of people wanting to study.

I am also pissed off at the people from my batch. Yesterday, a few of them went and got his signature. One of those was a girl who used to keep telling me to tell her when I would be going to the department to get those signatures. There are some really mean people in college. Selfish enough to not even inform. Nice. Its been that kind of a day, you know. You’re just angry at the whole world and the whole world actually does things to get you even angrier!

By the way, that workshop in Delhi got postponed. I don’t think I’ll be attending it now. My prelims last from 24^th Sep-9^th Oct. The final date of submission for ICMR is 15^th Oct. So I don’t have much time to do anything, let alone travel. Well, now I’ll celebrate my birthday in Pune. I don’t like that. I was really looking forward to this Delhi trip and spending my birthday there. I guess I haven’t realsied how much this project is jinxed. 

Exam Forms

Yes, the day is finally here. That dreaded day when I submit my Examination form. Yesterday, we had to run around a lot for a lot of things that need to be done.
1. The Challan - You get that challan in the Students' Section in college and then after having filled in the details, you go to the bank in college to fill your exam fees. I don't why and how it happened, but when I went to fill in my challan, there were just 2 people ahead of me. For the past three years, I've had to wait in that damned sun and then in a stuffy room (called the bank branch) to pay that money. Yesterday, however, luck smiled upon me a little. I could even go for my Gynaecology lecture, I was so sure I was going to miss!

2. The No-Dues Certificates- There are two such certificates for people living at home (god knows how many for those using the Hostel). One is from the Hostel saying we have no dues there, and another from the College saying that we've paid our fees and we have no dues here either. I was smart and lucky enough to pay my fees on Thursday itself. This fees business is really annoying. I started telling myself that I had to pay the fees way back in March. Obviously, I never did it. I realised that last week and since then, its been a task to remind myself every single night. Somehow, I did that on Wednesday night. I was so lucky, because when I came to college yesterday, there was a HUGE line of students waiting to pay their fees; a line that did not get shorter until the guy collecting the money declared "lunchtime". Phew!! The great part about paying your fees close to the exam form filling time is that you have those Receipts ready at hand. In  my first year, I had to waste a few days looking for those receipts (we'd paid the whole money at the start of the year itself) :-P

3. The Certificates from ObGy and Anaesthesia Departments -  This is new. This is NOT nice. When your examination form have to be submitted the very next day, and that ObGy Department decides to act mean because they have a three-day workshop to conduct, it hits your nerves at all the wrong spots. It definitely made me want to spit all kinds of stuff at my Professors and maybe even the HoD, if he'd turned up. But, I wasn't alone so I was restrained by my friends big time. They did give us the stamps that we required. After all, a whole batch failing because they refused to co-operate will be much bigger news than some stupid workshop that went the chaos-way.
The thing about these certificates is that it is plain useless work. We have to stick our photos on the certificate page of our Journals. Then, we have to catch hold of a Lecturer, and only a Lecturer of the concerned Department to get it attested ( which consists of his/her signature and the stamp of their designation). So, you may have the best of acquaintance with a person at a higher designation, it will be of no use.
Choosing these two departments only, and not the others fails to spark any light inside my considerably intelligent head. The only reason I can think of, is that its their last way of troubling us. Anaesthetists are never outside the OT. So, you roam about carrying your OT material and get inside every OT possible to catch hold of those people. The Department itself is also located just outside the OT. So, you may be told to wear your OT slippers at least, to enter it.
ObGy has the most number of OPDs that a stream can have. Our timetable in ObGy is like a superfast busy Deccan Queen. Every day there's something different. There's Antenatal OPD, Gynaecology OPD, MTP OPD, Labour Room Day, Wards Day and OT Day. 6 out of 6. Nothing repeats. So, getting hold of lecturers is pretty tough. You shall only have one lecturer in the ward on one day, or you simply run around to the other places, located on a completely different floor!

We did get the stamps and the certificates. At the end of the day though, my legs had given in to that accumulated lactic acid. They did not want to walk, neither did they want to move. So did my mind actually. I slept pretty early. But, thanks to that wonderful ghost that haunts me this year (''YOU DO NOT KNOW A THING") I got up early to study.
Exam Forms shall be submitted on Monday ( hopefully, I shall get my No-Dues Certificate from the hostel. It is such a pain in the ass to wait for days on the end for just a formality! I don't even use the hostel, and I weren't forced to pick up books from my hostelite friends, I wouldn't even know where it was! However, I still wait. Wait for the same amount of time as my hostel colleagues. That's the fairness of this world, isn't it?  

P.S. I am officially certified to write my exam now :-D The college thinks so. Do I??

FREAKS

My wish for a smooth journey regarding the Ethics Committee certificate has been anything but heard. This journey actually has put into perspective every single notion I had about "for every good that happens, there is equal amount of bad". Because here, there has been bad, worse and worst.
As you already know, it started 3 days before my exams. I had to present my topic in front of an Ethics Committee, and they had a lot to say about it. Particularly, it was on gentleman from PSM, whom I took an instant dislike to. He wanted newly diagnosed cases. He felt there was nothing that could come out my project. Yet another gentleman wanted me to decide the severity of the disease using Glycosylated haemoglobin. I had enough trouble getting a simple Lipid Profile done. Where could I manage the Glycosylated Haemoglobin? Another issue was that I had already taken my cases. And I was NOT going to take new ones. A nagging thought during all this process was, "Why have they asked me to present my project any way? They never do it for the ICMR!" At that time I decided that I'd just listen to whatever they said and go back and study.
Part 2 of this saga began on Friday (30th June) when I was told that I needed to make the changes or I wouldn't get the certificate. I talked to a teacher on the Committee, told her that my project had been selected as it was, and I had already done most of the work. She told me to meet the HoD (although I wasn't aware that this guy had become the HoD. The previous HoD had been transferred which I did not know). This new HoD was on Medical Leave. I decided to go and try on Tuesday. When I found out that even on Tuesday, he was still on Medical Leave, I decided to go and let my Guide know what all had happened. He told me to give him a copy of my proposal and told me he'd talk to the concerned people and let me know. I felt that things would get into motion now.
Part 3 of the saga occurred today. I got a call from the Pharmac Department office. On going there, I was told that I had been asked to call the new HoD. The lady told me that he and my Guide had talked to each other, and now I was supposed to talk to him. When I did talk to him, I was shocked and shattered. With anger, frustration, depression and unhappiness. He had the following things to say:
1. Why did you present your topic if it was an ICMR one?
Sir, I was told by the lady in your office that I had to. I told her that I hadn't heard of this happening to anybody before. She told me she had been told to ask me to, and she was just passing on the message.
2. You should've objected then.
How could I, Sir? You are all Professors. I thought the whole Committee had looked into my project and decided that I needed to present it. How I refuse or even object to it? Wouldn't that have been rude?
3. You have already started your work, it seems.
Yes Sir, I got a Provisional Certificate before. So I started.
4. You got a certificate before the meeting? That is not right. It is illegal to get a certificate before the meeting gets through.
Sir, I had missed the previous date of your meeting. So I asked my Guide and even in the office here, and they said I could get such a certificate. And the previous HoD went through my proposal and then issued a certificate.
5. How can one person issue such a certificate on behalf of the whole committee without even talking to them?
I do not know that, Sir. Since he said that there was no problem with getting such a certificate, I started with the work as soon as I got it.
He laughs...."This is not right. I don't understand what lengths you people go to. Look I don't have a problem with your project, but Dr. R--- does. I just don't like that provisional certificate."
What should I do then, Sir? What should I do with the project and my cases?
He laughs again...I'll talk to your Guide and let you know.

I just can't understand how unlucky this project is. Every single step that I've taken has been wrought with trouble and complications. It is so amazing that a person like me can get involved in so many issues. This HoD knows my parents, has taught them in fact. In my second year, I went to him to get some advice on how to study for the PG Entrance exams....at that time he talked as if I had already started classes with him. I didn't go back again. Is that why he's creating these problems? Did I hurt his ego? And seriously, if the previous Head gave me a certificate, big deal!! Why can't he just not let this newfound 'I'm-the HoD' ego not create problems for students? And for heavens sake, the ICMR selected this project. The INDIAN COUNCIL OF MEDICAL RESEARCH. A body that controls and encourages research from all over the COUNTRY. If they did not have a problem, what problem do these people have? May be this HoD was right. I shouldn't have presented my project only. I'd have invited their anger at the beginning only and not had to go through all this drama.
FREAKS. All of them. FREAKS.