Ok, so as a part of growing up, you have to deal with illnesses. Some are small, the flu kind...they make you lie in bed for a few days, give you a headache, a sore throat, fever...u take analgesics, anti-pyretics, anti-histaminics and within a week, you get back to work. Then there are some other illnesses that lurk around inside your body for years before you come to know they existed. There are a few others that tend to show themselves now and then. We just fail to identify the symptoms.
I seem to have the third category. In past few months, there has been a lot of buzz about Vitamin B12 deficiency in my family. My very first patient correctly diagnosed was my mom. She had complains of burning patches over her toes. They used to just come and go. I asked her to get her B12 profile done and it did turn out to be B12 deficiency. A few injections down the line, she said she had never felt better! Her Physician pointed out a lot of other signs of B12 deficiency that she had. So, it had been around for quite some time. My grandmom has had problems with haemorrhagic patches over her skin. A little trauma and the next thing you know, there is a sizeable reddish purple patch over her arm. When my mom told her to get her profile done, she was diagnosed with B12 deficiency too. She can't tolerate the injections, but she takes them once a month to just feel better.
I did not think I was going to end up with it too. But, over the past year, I've been feeling that I'm having memory issues. I don't remember my friends' birthdays, can't remember people favourite foods, toys, cars, etc...and most bugging, can't remember things I've read like hours before. I could feel the contrast between Me of 2nd year and Me of third year. We got my profile done, and it was really really really low. I had a 137 where the normal lower limit is 211. I was put on injections immediately. The funny little patient I am, I can't tolerate pain much. I had some fainting episodes after the third and fourth injections. My parents decided no more injections for me. I was to stay of medication only.
Funny thing about oral medication is, you never know how much is exactly going into your body. So I even started with all the milk eggs and stuff. I couldn't feel much of difference really. I still had episodes of tingling and still felt my memory wasn't back to normal. But, yes, it did improve a bit.
It was only in this last week in my PL, that I have really started to think I might have gotten back to my really low levels of B12. B 12 deficiency is characterised by a lot of things. Among them, there is a point about mood swings. I don't have mood swings, but over the past week, I had started getting worried about my exams, worried about finishing my portion, missing my friends like crazy (to the extent that I messaged sentimentally to a few), missing my family when they'd go out for work. I kept thinking about the future and how it was all going to wrong for me. And these episodes would just turn up spontaneously. Next thing I knew, I'd have tears in my eyes and I'd be crying like there wasn't an end. It freaked me out. Because, I am not like this. I don't think about results and study. I just study. I don't think about the future. I live in the present. And, yes, I do miss my childhood like crazy and get sentimental, but I do NOT cry in this manner.
When I broke down in front of my parents, it was the last straw. Because I didn't even know what I was crying about. I was nervous and tense. About everything. Anything specific? I had no answer to that. We all knew I was ruining everything- my health, my mental capacity, and my chances of seeing these exams through. It was very frightening. Was this year so bad, that I'd turned into a mass of nervous wreck?
When I calmed down a little, I thought back to the time this had first happened (before my Surgery Paper during the prelims). I'd broken down at that time without any warning too. Then when I had my B12 tablet, I'd felt a little better, more in control of my emotions and senses. Then I thought about all the mornings nowadays, when I take that tablet. I'm not very tense at that time. The time I freak out is 5 am in the morning when I get up because of that fear. And, in the evenings. The period around 9 am -12 noon is a calm serene one. That got me thinking that I should start with the injections. Maybe not every day, but at least once a week. I am not the kind of a person thwarted by exams. I kinda live for them. SO there had to be another reason for my erratic behaviour.
And you know what, it has actually helped! I took an injection on Monday, and since then, I haven't felt any of that fear of destruction and that insane need to cry. I'm still a little concerned about staying alone at home, in case I go back my last-week self, but I managed to stay alone at home today afternoon and I'm just fine. So, yes, it has been my B12 acting up again. I'm actually a little shocked, because I sudden;y feel like a patient. A patient who was totally utterly lost and defeated and now, one shot of the medication has given him a new life. I think I'm going to take the injection monthly for the rest of my life. If I could get so tense about a stupid exam that I just need to pass, imagine what sort of hell I shall put myself through later on, when there are bigger and scarier things to deal with (patients' lives, for example).
Mom says I shouldn't take weekly injections right now. But, I so don't want all this to repeat again in my PL, I'll try convincing her to give me one more a week before my exams or something. Till then, its oral medication and being my normal self.
Phew!! Scary, freaky experience. For a moment I thought I'd have to go get myself a psychiatrist's consultation with a few prescribed medications. Let's hope it doesn't get down to that.
I seem to have the third category. In past few months, there has been a lot of buzz about Vitamin B12 deficiency in my family. My very first patient correctly diagnosed was my mom. She had complains of burning patches over her toes. They used to just come and go. I asked her to get her B12 profile done and it did turn out to be B12 deficiency. A few injections down the line, she said she had never felt better! Her Physician pointed out a lot of other signs of B12 deficiency that she had. So, it had been around for quite some time. My grandmom has had problems with haemorrhagic patches over her skin. A little trauma and the next thing you know, there is a sizeable reddish purple patch over her arm. When my mom told her to get her profile done, she was diagnosed with B12 deficiency too. She can't tolerate the injections, but she takes them once a month to just feel better.
I did not think I was going to end up with it too. But, over the past year, I've been feeling that I'm having memory issues. I don't remember my friends' birthdays, can't remember people favourite foods, toys, cars, etc...and most bugging, can't remember things I've read like hours before. I could feel the contrast between Me of 2nd year and Me of third year. We got my profile done, and it was really really really low. I had a 137 where the normal lower limit is 211. I was put on injections immediately. The funny little patient I am, I can't tolerate pain much. I had some fainting episodes after the third and fourth injections. My parents decided no more injections for me. I was to stay of medication only.
Funny thing about oral medication is, you never know how much is exactly going into your body. So I even started with all the milk eggs and stuff. I couldn't feel much of difference really. I still had episodes of tingling and still felt my memory wasn't back to normal. But, yes, it did improve a bit.
It was only in this last week in my PL, that I have really started to think I might have gotten back to my really low levels of B12. B 12 deficiency is characterised by a lot of things. Among them, there is a point about mood swings. I don't have mood swings, but over the past week, I had started getting worried about my exams, worried about finishing my portion, missing my friends like crazy (to the extent that I messaged sentimentally to a few), missing my family when they'd go out for work. I kept thinking about the future and how it was all going to wrong for me. And these episodes would just turn up spontaneously. Next thing I knew, I'd have tears in my eyes and I'd be crying like there wasn't an end. It freaked me out. Because, I am not like this. I don't think about results and study. I just study. I don't think about the future. I live in the present. And, yes, I do miss my childhood like crazy and get sentimental, but I do NOT cry in this manner.
When I broke down in front of my parents, it was the last straw. Because I didn't even know what I was crying about. I was nervous and tense. About everything. Anything specific? I had no answer to that. We all knew I was ruining everything- my health, my mental capacity, and my chances of seeing these exams through. It was very frightening. Was this year so bad, that I'd turned into a mass of nervous wreck?
When I calmed down a little, I thought back to the time this had first happened (before my Surgery Paper during the prelims). I'd broken down at that time without any warning too. Then when I had my B12 tablet, I'd felt a little better, more in control of my emotions and senses. Then I thought about all the mornings nowadays, when I take that tablet. I'm not very tense at that time. The time I freak out is 5 am in the morning when I get up because of that fear. And, in the evenings. The period around 9 am -12 noon is a calm serene one. That got me thinking that I should start with the injections. Maybe not every day, but at least once a week. I am not the kind of a person thwarted by exams. I kinda live for them. SO there had to be another reason for my erratic behaviour.
And you know what, it has actually helped! I took an injection on Monday, and since then, I haven't felt any of that fear of destruction and that insane need to cry. I'm still a little concerned about staying alone at home, in case I go back my last-week self, but I managed to stay alone at home today afternoon and I'm just fine. So, yes, it has been my B12 acting up again. I'm actually a little shocked, because I sudden;y feel like a patient. A patient who was totally utterly lost and defeated and now, one shot of the medication has given him a new life. I think I'm going to take the injection monthly for the rest of my life. If I could get so tense about a stupid exam that I just need to pass, imagine what sort of hell I shall put myself through later on, when there are bigger and scarier things to deal with (patients' lives, for example).
Mom says I shouldn't take weekly injections right now. But, I so don't want all this to repeat again in my PL, I'll try convincing her to give me one more a week before my exams or something. Till then, its oral medication and being my normal self.
Phew!! Scary, freaky experience. For a moment I thought I'd have to go get myself a psychiatrist's consultation with a few prescribed medications. Let's hope it doesn't get down to that.
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