The Prelims Over :-)

Looking at the few results that have come out, its not been the happiest of times, but its not like I expected to rock my exams.

These 3 weeks have been nerve-wracking. First, it was back to back papers. That pretty much left you with no time to really brood over the previous paper or the next one. My acid-test was the Surgery paper. My relationship with Surgery hasn’t been smooth. I like the subject. I love it. Its amazing how that is possible. Surgery is Anatomy clinicalised, if there is such a word. I used to HATE Anatomy. I couldn’t visualize anything in there. But, here I am, 3 years down the line, liking the subject that is the advanced course of the subject I hated.

Any way, so as much as I love the subject, I’m not very confident about it. So, when it comes to an exam or a practical I get so paranoid. The day before my Surgery paper, I was at my wits’ end. It is all thanks to my dad who somehow got me through that paper, with all his discussions the day before. Before my Surgery 2 paper, we did the same, but it wasn’t as successful. My paper wasn’t the dream that I wished I’d had. It was a cross-over between a normal dream and reality.

The rest of the subjects have been ok. I know my Obstetrics paper wasn’t as great as my Gynaec paper and the difference in the marks showed it. I know that my Med 1 paper was 100 times better than my Med 2 paper. Yes, those marks showed that too. My practicals were pretty fine. The Gynae pracs were especially better than expected. I got decent marks too. My internal assessment marks for my pracs are more than those for theory, so that does say something. The med practical was supposed to  be fine, but my marks didn’t show it. I was pretty disappointed with that.

At the start of this prelim exam, I just prayed that I get through it somehow, any how. I did. THAT is an achievement. For a month back, I was totally unprepared. Totally, completely, fully. I didn’t know how things were going to fall in place. They did. Not perfectly, but they did. To me, that is all that matters. A friend of mine says I’m overly competitive. I don’t believe that is true. I know the kind of answers I write or give in Vivas. After having taken exams for the past 20 years, I can say I’m an expert at it. There was a time when my papers were held up in front of the class to demonstrate how a paper should be written. Even now, in medicine, there is always something that I like to incorporate in my answers to make them better than the person before me. After all, the checking of papers is relative, isn’t it? All students study the same amount. All students write the same amount. They write the same things too (biology of the body won’t change with each paper, will it?). The difference between a 67/80 and a 40/80 is the method of presentation. It is your answer that shows your ability to succeed. And, I know I have to keep doing that to score more.

Do these scores matter anywhere? Not really. But, they do stand to give me a shot of confidence. So, I know that next time I write a Gynaecology paper, I shall be sure of myself when I’m writing it. The Obstetrics paper, on the other hand, will require some more effort on my part. When I know that I’m managed to score among the top brass of my batch, I know that I’m up there knowledge-wise.

These upcoming preparation leave days are going to make all the difference. I know that. It is going to be one tough month of studying. But, having gone through my prelims, I know I need to work extra-hard to stop myself from losing it before or during the paper. Our practical dates have also been declared and they are a month away from the theory exams. So, the upcoming 3 months are going to be the make or break of my Medicine journey. In this last leg, I can’t give up or be loose. I’m going to make each and every day, each and every second count.