The Want-To and the Don't-Want-To

One of the worst things about holidays is that, although you know what all you want to do, you are too bored to push yourself into action. Ultimately, you end up wasting days one after the other and you enjoy that!

My list of things to do after exams get over included:

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 Yeah, that’s a long list. I did not have a timetable as such, but I could imagine myself making something that looked like a timetable and following it. To follow a timetable, you need to make one. These holidays have been one big non-timetable event. I can’t bring myself to start following my own directions. I’ve spent the last 4.5 years following timetables – when to get up, when to brush my teeth, when to have a bath, have breakfast, read the newspaper….the number of hours I should study, the duration of my study breaks and what I should do in those breaks. I’ve done everything according to time. I designated each hour of the day for something specific and did follow that. So now, I’m so TIRED of doing it all over again and making myself feel like a prisoner of my own organization.

I just want to let go and waste time. I want to tell myself that its ok to do that, and I really deserve it too. So I might have some wonderful things that I have to do, but I’m doing them at my own leisure pace. It’s like there’s two of me (one with the organization & discipline that has been predominant for all the time I remember of College; and one that can be as lazy as the other can be disciplined, which is not even allowing that first self to make itself heard, let alone have an impact :-p )

So out of that whole list of things to do, I’ve managed some. Not to the extent of being maniacally good and sufficient at them, but better than a bad job. I’ve managed to get an idea about my future. Now all I need to do, is study to make it happen (oh Lord! It is back to studying soon….sigh). I have rearranged my study table a bit, and my room too. I can’t make up my mind about textbooks from the previous year which I’d kept my special library upstairs. I decided that can only be done when I make my study timetable. That is definitely not happening in the next 2 days at least.

I have also started pouring on cookbooks. We’ve had our super-microwave for about 3 years now and I’d never bothered to read the stickers on top of it door. They say : Ceramic Grill, Quartz Grill, Convection Cooking. Bloody hell, the microwave in my house was capable of grilled food, barbequed veggies, baked stuffed food, cakes and I never knew it!! Today, I’m going to try out the barbeque. Nothing very extravagant…just veggies and mushrooms. My mom and I were food- shopping day before yesterday, and I picked out my first packet of mushrooms. The thing about Mushrooms is- I LOVE THEM. The story behind this love began 8 years back, in 2004. We were on our tour of the South-East Asia. The airlines provided us with boiled mushrooms as a part of our vegetarian meal. At that time, although I knew what mushrooms were, I hadn’t eaten them before by themselves. Definitely not boiled mushrooms only. I was pretty much the only person in my family (of 4) who managed to eat them all ( like all the mushrooms designated to 3 of us), and I asked each of those nice little button-mushrooms just one question : “Where have you been all my life?!” That’s it. The start of a perfect story. Today, I’m still so so so crazy about mushrooms. Whenever we go out for dinner, my eyes always travel to the mushroom part of the menu. All the pastas I order always have one core ingredient – mushroom. All the appetizers I order have mushroom in some form or the other. One of my favourite places to eat out, is BarbequeNation. They have a wonderful live barbeque with mushrooms. I am chiefly responsible for the lack of mushrooms on the skewers :-p

As much as I love mushrooms, Mom has never cooked them at home. She says she’s worried about the quality of mushrooms and the way you prepare them. So, usually, when I’m in the mood for mushrooms, I usually get some takeaways. What that takes away from me, is that feeling of actually preparing them myself. I haven’t had the time, before right now, to make my own experiments with mushrooms. Day before yesterday, I decided – This is it. My Dad has been pestering me to get a start on the barbeque, and I can start off with barbequed Mushrooms. Once that is successful, I can move onto bigger things. Yes, today is that grand day. I shall have mushrooms made by myself. I am SO excited J

I am reminded of the movie Julie and Julia. I feel like Julie now. I’m mainly trying out recipes from cookbooks. I’m thinking of starting off with one by Tarla Dalal. Maybe the next few posts of my blog can be a part of the Jili & Tarla series :-p I hope in the next year or so, I can provide proof of my love of cooking. Currently, I’m pretty much stuck to providing Hakka Noodles and Veg Manchurian to any body who comes home for a meal. If I love cooking, I should be capable of doing more than that :-p

Ok, moving onto the other points on my list- I have checked out a few libraries around here. I really liked one. I think I shall go and get myself registered today. I need to get a move on my reading list. I miss those days, when I was so up-to-date with the latest books. Yes, I will start today. Yes I will!! I have also started off with my yoga and exercising. I’m experiencing that muscle ache I’m accustomed to, for the first few days of stretching. I took a break today. It is Sunday, and I can’t even walk straight :-p My aim to get myself into a shape that I can admire in the mirror. I don’t want to lose weight (hell, a few more kgs lost, and I shall definitely shift into the malnourished category), all I want to do is, shift the fat in my body to all the right places. I know that is more difficult than simply losing weight, but hey, you won’t know until you actually try it out.

As far as meeting up with friends goes, yeah, I think I’m really behind on that. But, after days of planning and cancelling, an old school friend of mine and I did end up meeting yesterday. That has given me immense hope, that I will meet each of my friends sooner or later :-p

Spanish is a language that has always enchanted me. But, guess it is these holidays. I have the numbers of classes close to my place, I’m just too lethargic to call. This one is going to take time. Where language comes into play, I also have to restart writing my diary. I know that once I sit to write it, I won’t stop till I finish. But inertia is inertia. Maybe a few days of exercise with give my mind the strength to get out that inertia.

And my grandparents. Yes, I have made quite a headway there. I go to meet them every Tuesday. It obviously isn’t the same as actually staying with them, but I try. I love the feel I get there. Ahh….yay, just two more days to Tuesday, and I’ll be back there J

That’s my holidays. At the end of these, I want to get rid of my dark circles, sleep A LOT, eat all my favourite food and waste time. Since about half my time is already over, I need to get things done and fast. Come on!!