Hunting for Clinical Examination

So, over the past few weeks I've been hunting for videos of Clinical Examination of various systems and joints and all, to help me gain some confidence with my own skills. Found a great blog called http://imedrxtv.blogspot.in...it has the MacCleod's Examination videos and also the Dr. Ghanshyam Vaidya clinics. Any one who needs either of them, can definitely have a look.
Today, I watch a youtube video of the Knee Examination. Thought I'd put it in here. its a big help to all those people like who have had to manage Ortho all by themselves, and need some help with the practical part.

From the Heart

There are a few singers who manage to touch your soul with their voices. Here's to you Adele, for touching my soul too....

My most favourite Adele song yet: Rolling in the Deep

Death

Its 3 am in the morning and I can’t sleep. I’ve gotten up to news that always shakes my soul, no matter who is concerned. It’s a death, and one of a close relative. Did I see him in the past 10 years? No. Do I remember his face? No. But my grandmom told me a snippet of how cute a thing I was way back when I was 4 years old. And that snippet is enough to pull me into this mindset…a place where I can’t decide, again, how to deal with the trauma inflicted upon us mortals by something called Death.

I don’t know what everyone is going through. There isn’t much crying, but there is a hush. A hush that is heavy with all the regrets about things that could’ve been done, should’ve been done, that may have been done and better sense prevailed. There is a hush that usually surrounds such news …it wants to say a lot of things, but somewhere between the brain and tongue, it stops…as if not wanting to come out, lest it unleash a cloud of emotions we can’t deal with.

He was beyond 80 years old…he was ill…there was a huge chance this was going to happen…but, when it does, this thought doesn’t make it any easier. The only consoling thought could be that he was restless…he didn’t like being the way he was…he was getting angry about his situation…this was the only way out…but, it doesn’t make it any easier when you ask yourself, “Was it?” It wasn’t the doctors’ decision to make it happen, it was made by Someone Somewhere….Someone who thought it was time to go.

Such thinking doesn’t make it easier either. Who would wish things turned out this way? Who would want to feel all the rush of emotions at this moment? When you begin to realize that you will NEVER see that person again, it hurts….in that pit of your stomach that isn’t even a part of any happy feelings that could make it easier. It hurts, because along with that knowledge, comes a load of memories…when he first held you…saw you walk for the first time…watched you get your first award…saw you in your darkest hour to give you strength that only a parent could give…all the fights, all the good times… and then, that so-called consoling thought doesn’t seem so consoling any more…

In death, every hate that you’d ever felt towards that person seems to evaporate (unless it was a murderer or something…in that case, things would be different maybe)…you end up saying to yourself, yes, it was stupid…maybe I shouldn’t have gone so far. But, it hurt that time, and maybe for years after that…and so you never really ended up taking about it. Now that is what you regret. A lot.

Death is the rule of Nature. Is it just us Humans who end up feeling this way? This barrage of emotions that erupt with such news…a turmoil that we can’t deal with? And, why does everyone say time heals everything? It might suppress the memories, it might bring new ideas, new avenues…somewhere deep down, the old ones still remain…and this transition. This transition from right now to then, isn’t that a painful process? How should you deal with the idea that somebody has gone to a place where he can’t be reached, can’t be seen, can’t be felt. A place, we say, exists, but don’t know much about…does it really? Or is it just the end. An abrupt end to a mortal life that had to end from the very time it began.

These questions come up every time. Is there any answer to them? Life goes on, as it should. But, there has to be a moment when these ideas get overwhelmingly too much. What does a person do? How do you deal with Death. How do you manage to let go of all those regrets, all those happy memories that hurt so much? Most importantly, how do you run away from your own mind that refuses to want to deal with it all and move on. This moving on process, reducing a person’s being to a mere memory….is that fair to him? He lived a life….a life that was pieced together by his own work and those around him. He lived A LIFE. Is it fair to reduce that life to a memory that threatens to disappear when it gets too distant? Would you want to remain just a memory? In that case, this means we’re selfish enough to wish the people close to us shouldn’t move on at all. Yet, that is not how life is supposed to work.

Maybe some day, I’ll find answers to all these conflicting thoughts that eat me through and through. However, if there’s something I learn from this, it’s that, you have to say everything you want to, to every person in your life. Tell them you love them forever, whatever may happen in the future. You shouldn’t want to say it when its too late.

May his soul rest in peace. 

Theory Examination Over

Over the past 2 weeks, I’ve realized the following:

1.       I hate exams. I thought I lived for them, but I don’t.

2.       If Final year is supposed to be hard, it doesn’t even compare to the stress you go through during the exam. Looking back, I don’t know how I made it through in one piece.

3.       Papers always turn out differently this year. They are all expected questions, yes, but you don’t feel like you’ve written expected answers (or this might just be me talking).

4.       The age old superstition : the lesser you’ve done something, higher the chance of it actually ending up in the paper. It sucks through your brain. Oh, it SO does! And probably, that’s why you end up staying awake the whole night.

5.       Everybody but you, seems to be less concerned about the examination. It’s almost as if, you’re in one boat and everybody else in the other. It actually isn’t like that, but that’s how the world looks to you.

6.       The MUHS does NOT care about us students. They prepare papers full of spelling mistakes, repeat short notes in the same question (which is: Answer any three out of five. So that effectively reduces us to answering 3 out of 4. Or taking that bold step of writing the same answer twice hoping you’ll get 3 marks two times over.

7.       Surgery still freaks me out. I did it almost twice. Almost, because, there were a few chapters I did not do twice. Yet the day before both my papers, I was freaking out. And I was almost wishing I hadn’t taken up this course of Medicine.

8.       I always fall sick before my exams. Thing is, the week before my immune system decides to take a holiday, and I suffer. Surprisingly, this time, I got better like 2 days before the exam began, to reach my designated centre and end up with the flu AGAIN. Seriously, there was a time during the paper I had to allot to clearing my blocked sinuses!!

9.       I am exhausted. I don’t want any more testing, I don’t want any more theory answers to be written. I’m so tired of taking all this stress, it’s reduced my weight to more than is normal during a preparation leave.

10.   And, did I mention, I’m still hating Final year? Oh yeah, I’m still hating it, and I simply can’t wait enough for 13 Jan to come.

So how were these exams? The same exams I was so worried about, the exams on which nothing depended, my parents had absolutely no expectations from, I had no expectations from, the exams for which I literally turned the entire household’s lives upside down….yeah they were ok….all of my papers were more or less the same…I didn’t find any paper extremely easy, but no paper was pathetic either….I liked my Obstetrics paper best, because I drew a lot of diagrams, and they didn’t ask the questions I’d dreaded. I think I like my Paediatrics paper least, but that’s just because I couldn’t give the finishing touches I’m so used to giving all my papers. And it sucks to end your undergraduate examination on that note.

It’s what I’ve been through in these past 2 weeks, that’s so important. I suck at managing stress. Oh man, I really suck. My mind plays all sorts of games with me, and it’s so freaky. My usual method of calming myself down went to the dogs this year. When I told myself, “Shut up, stupid little girl, you’ve prepared well!!”, another louder voice used to come up behind me slowly and say, “Oh yes, little girl, you’ve prepared well. Tell me, do you know that you can’t remember the treatment charts? Or diagrams? Oh and by the way, you’ve not even touched contraception yet….and what about Skin….and you have even done your usual dose of MCQs this year.” It’s so hard to get rid of that voice once it starts.

This past month has been dreadful. I don’t think I’ve ever suffered so much in any preparation leave. It has been a combination of low confidence, sucky memory and a vast portion that refuses to even come close to the finishing line. The result : a complete wreck of a person, worried parents, indecision about the future and an ardent desire to just let go. They say Medicine is tough, so this is just the beginning. I’m really worried about my brain and its tolerance capacity. So, yes, there are some tough decisions to make in the coming month- regarding my future, what I want to do, how I want to do it, and the best way to keep my brain stable. I almost resorted to some anti-depressants and I don’t want to go down that road ever again. That’s why this decision will be so important to me.

Right now, I’m already worried sick about my practicals. The worry doesn’t make it any easier to start studying again, but it does affect the general day. I wish I had some confidence in myself. I really do. I hate this low self-esteem I have about my case-taking and practical skills. Of course, I have good enough reasons to feel this way, but I also have good reasons NOT to feel this way. Our timetable isn’t out yet. All we know is that, practicals in our college will be held from 1^st to 12^th of Jan, 2013. Nothing more. I want to know the exact details as fast as possible…that way, once I have a deadline to get to, it’ll make it easier to manage my study timetable.

God bless me and my case-taking skills. One ordeal over, another to start very soon. Oh I hate Final Year!  

HAPPY DIWALI!!!

Good Result :-)

Congrats President Obama for a new term in office :-) Cheers to the guy who's made me believe that Politics does have some genuine people !!

The Effects of an Illness

Ok, so as a part of growing up, you have to deal with illnesses. Some are small, the flu kind...they make you lie in bed for a few days, give you a headache, a sore throat, fever...u take analgesics, anti-pyretics, anti-histaminics and within a week, you get back to work. Then there are some other illnesses that lurk around inside your body for years before you come to know they existed. There are a few others that tend to show themselves now and then. We just fail to identify the symptoms.
I seem to have the third category. In past few months, there has been a lot of buzz about Vitamin B12 deficiency in my family. My very first patient correctly diagnosed was my mom. She had complains of burning patches over her toes. They used to just come and go. I asked her to get her B12 profile done and it did turn out to be B12 deficiency. A few injections down the line, she said she had never felt better! Her Physician pointed out a lot of other signs of B12 deficiency that she had. So, it had been around for quite some time. My grandmom has had problems with haemorrhagic patches over her skin. A little trauma and the next thing you know, there is a sizeable reddish purple patch over her arm. When my mom told her to get her profile done, she was diagnosed with B12 deficiency too. She can't tolerate the injections, but she takes them once a month to just feel better.
I did not think I was going to end up with it too. But, over the past year, I've been feeling that I'm having memory issues. I don't remember my friends' birthdays, can't remember people favourite foods, toys, cars, etc...and most bugging, can't remember things I've read like hours before. I could feel the contrast between Me of 2nd year and Me of third year. We got my profile done, and it was really really really low. I had a 137 where the normal lower limit is 211. I was put on injections immediately. The funny little patient I am, I can't tolerate pain much. I had some fainting episodes after the third and fourth injections. My parents decided no more injections for me. I was to stay of medication only.
Funny thing about oral medication is, you never know how much is exactly going into your body. So I even started with all the milk eggs and stuff. I couldn't feel much of difference really. I still had episodes of tingling and still felt my memory wasn't back to normal. But, yes, it did improve a bit.
It was only in this last week in my PL, that I have really started to think I might have gotten back to my really low levels of B12. B 12 deficiency is characterised by a lot of things. Among them, there is a point about mood swings. I don't have mood swings, but over the past week, I had started getting worried about my exams, worried about finishing my portion, missing my friends like crazy (to the extent that I messaged sentimentally to a few), missing my family when they'd go out for work. I kept thinking about the future and how it was all going to wrong for me. And these episodes would just turn up spontaneously. Next thing I knew, I'd have tears in my eyes and I'd be crying like there wasn't an end. It freaked me out. Because, I am not like this. I don't think about results and study. I just study. I don't think about the future. I live in the present. And, yes, I do miss my childhood like crazy and get sentimental, but I do NOT cry in this manner.
When I broke down in front of my parents, it was the last straw. Because I didn't even know what I was crying about. I was nervous and tense. About everything. Anything specific? I had no answer to that. We all knew I was ruining everything- my health, my mental capacity, and my chances of seeing these exams through. It was very frightening. Was this year so bad, that I'd turned into a mass of nervous wreck?
When I calmed down a little, I thought back to the time this had first happened (before my Surgery Paper during the prelims). I'd broken down at that time without any warning too. Then when I had my B12 tablet, I'd felt a little better, more in control of my emotions and senses. Then I thought about all the mornings nowadays, when I take that tablet. I'm not very tense at that time. The time I freak out is 5 am in the morning when I get up because of that fear. And, in the evenings. The period around 9 am -12 noon is a calm serene one. That got me thinking that I should start with the injections. Maybe not every day, but at least once a week. I am not the kind of a person thwarted by exams. I kinda live for them. SO there had to be another reason for my erratic behaviour.
And you know what, it has actually helped! I took an injection on Monday, and since then, I haven't felt any of that fear of destruction and that insane need to cry. I'm still a little concerned about staying alone at home, in case I go back my last-week self, but I managed to stay alone at home today afternoon and I'm just fine. So, yes, it has been my B12 acting up again. I'm actually a little shocked, because I sudden;y feel like a patient. A patient who was totally utterly lost and defeated and now, one shot of the medication has given him a new life. I think I'm going to take the injection monthly for the rest of my life. If I could get so tense about a stupid exam that I just need to pass, imagine what sort of hell I shall put myself through later on, when there are bigger and scarier things to deal with (patients' lives, for example).
Mom says I shouldn't take weekly injections right now. But, I so don't want all this to repeat again in my PL, I'll try convincing her to give me one more a week before my exams or something. Till then, its oral medication and being my normal self.
Phew!! Scary, freaky experience. For a moment I thought I'd have to go get myself a psychiatrist's consultation with a few prescribed medications. Let's hope it doesn't get down to that.         

SNAKE!!!

That slithering reptile and I have a wonderful history. We meet regularly. Unexpectedly. And I lose a few years of life, thanks to the sudden rush of adrenaline all through my blood vessels and the spontaneous overworking of my heart.
Ever since we moved into our new house (not so new now) 3 years back, we'd heard stories about how people here found snakes in their homes...some found them in their bathrooms, others in their gardens, some 'lucky' ones found them on their beds, occupying it as if the bed were the snake's rightful place, not that poor human being's. There was this one day, when we were still in the process of doing the interior, that mom came home with photos of a snake caught at the home of our to-be neighbours. We were excited. Previously, my only tryst with a snake had been watching one cross the road as I cycled...that too from a distance. When we moved into this current home, we were told it was only a matter of time before we became members of the sacred group "Snakes In Our Home". It took a year, but we did get there.
I don't remember if I'd written about the snake visit last year. It was a day before Diwali. I opened my bathroom door to find something on the wash basin. Something that did not look like an earthworm. Something that was definitely a snake. We called the concerned people and after an hour of intense searching, they found it hidden under the lining of the wash basin. That was tiny. Although initially scared, I managed to gather my wits together in time, and enjoyed watching the whole process.
My second time was the scary one. If I die at 65 years of age, I shall always say in Heaven that I was supposed to die at 70 years, but that fateful day changed that equation forever. It was evening. I was watching TV. For some unknown reason, I decided to watch till 6:30 pm instead of 6:00 pm. I heard some bottles fall. Since they are kept near the window, it's usually due to the wind. So, I looked up expecting to see an empty window. Instead, I saw a thick black rope hung in a U-shape around it. It was moving. Told myself I was imagining things. How could a rope move?? And even if it was, it would be outside the window. Because, all the doors were closed and all our windows have the mosquito screens placed. I couldn't see properly because the kitchen lights were switched off. That sort of made it worse.
Then, without any warning, that rope moved faster and twirled around the sink taps!! Crap. It was a snake. INSIDE MY HOUSE. AND THERE WAS NOTHING BUT EMPTY FLOOR BETWEEN IT AND ME. That was the moment I realised what petrified with fear is like. I couldn't move. I couldn't remember where I'd kept my cell phone. When I tried the landline, I couldn't remember my parents' cell phone numbers. When I got my phone out of my room, I couldn't operate it properly. When I finally got through to my mom, even her assistant realised there was something majorly wrong, my voice was so shaky. Yes, that day, I understood fear. And in the process of understanding fear and trying to save myself, I chucked what I should've done i.e., sit quietly and keep an eye on that snake. It was huge. It extended from the top corner of the window down to the tap where it had managed to twirl around a few times. That and the fact that I couldn't see properly (add on, being alone in the house) pushed me out of the house without any further thoughts. It was an hour before those people came and they searched the entire area, but couldn't find it. I slept in fear for the next couple of nights. And I can never look at that sink in the same way again.
The third time was less scary, because this time, the snake was hanging down from our backyard roof and I was sitting safely in my room that looks into the backyard. There was a screen, broad daylight and a confused snake still deciding whether to enter our backyard or move into our neighbour's. Previous experience told me to keep a watch on the snake and I made sure I saw it go. This time, I was alone but, braver. When it isn't inside your house, my nerves don't crash down.
Today was sighting number 4. Again, I was alone, in my room, not thinking about a snake at all. Heard the movement of a mug and buckets. Told myself, it is that cat. Obviously, can't be a snake. Look down form my window and bingo! SNAKE. Long long long...could only see the body and tail, no head. Yes, I was freaked out. My mom says she thought so too when she talked to me. Couldn't get through to the usual guy, he gave me another guy's number. While doing all this calling, that stupid snake, after having searched the whole area around our wash place, decided to go down the drain. When I told this to the snake guy, he told me to throw some water with phenol down the drain. I told him I wasn't going to do it. Keeping an eye on the snake is fine. Going right to where it is and trying to irritate it, is NOT. He came and did that. He said that since these snakes can't stand the smell of phenol, it would come out in an hour or so, if it were still in the drain. It did. And he caught it. I'm putting up the videos here. It was huge. Like 6 feet long. It was the same one I saw last time. Mom thinks it is also the one I saw that dreaded second time. Maybe. Because that snake was definitely long. Thank God, this snake was caught. My home was slowly turning into this cluster out-of-bounds areas. I'd have probably just been left with my bed as my safe place. And now Dad has to believe me. He thought I'd mistaken ropes or other things for snakes last two times. Mom was totally freaked out too. I was at least quiet with my emotions. She was literally dancing in her place.

Please dear slithering reptiles. I admit it. I'm shit scared of you guys. I do not like to even see you guys. Please spare my life and stop coming into my field of vision. 4 times. 4 times we've had snakes in our house. All 4 times, I've spotted them. Please no more. Please.        

The Break

Did I take a break? Not really. So, after the exams, I had to complete and send my research project to the ICMR, clean up my room, clean up  the house, get some decent sleep, just get away from studying for a few days. Unfortunately, that did not exactly happen. I couldn't do everything and when time came to get away to Mahabaleshwar for the weekend, I had spent an entire night trying to get my project done and was carrying all my work with me.
It is such a pain the ass to do something like that. I haven't been to Mahabaleshwar in a decade. I was really excited about roaming around there. Having the incomplete project hovering about in my thoughts did help much. Mahabaleshwar was wonderful....cool, windy and very friendly. On Saturday, we enjoyed our hotel completely. We were staying at Evershine Keys. Nice hotel :-) lovely food :-) Yesterday, we visited all the "Points" in Mahabaleshwar. My favourite had to be Kate's Point. It overlooked a river...the water was crystal blue, and it reminded of the Pacific Ocean for some reason. The scenery all over Mahabaleshwar is so pretty!! I simply love to places like that, so I've been one happy person over the weekend. Knowing that I have to start studying from today males me cringe, especially after reliving all those wonderful memories of the weekend.
The market in Mahabaleshwar was so inviting!! There were shops after shops of footwear of all kinds, purses, handbags, hats, artificial jewellery and the pride of Mahabaleshwar - Strawberry with Cream :-)) Mom and I went crazy with all that footwear...we bought so many!! Over all, I had a wonderful time.
What makes me relaxed even more today, is that I managed to finish writing my report yesterday night and sent to the ICMR. I was worried that there may be a lotof load on the site (after all, today is the last day of submission). But, sending a report at 2 am in the morning always eases the load a little :-p
My experince with this project has been enriching. It wasn't enjoyable. I remember that initial period. It was all new, the hunting for patients, talking to them, convincing them to take the required tests, interactions with the lab personnel, getting the statistics done, getting my ethics certificate...and the most difficult of the lot, trying to get my Guide to talk to me for a few minutes. Getting into the groove and setting a time table that I could follow was a task. Juggling my studies, exams with the time that went into this was an even bigger ask. I've already given up hope that I'll match my own standards of the last two years. I just want to do well enough to be proud of myself and this year...
Lets see how everything pans out. I hope they accept my report. The four months have been tough and I don't want any more trouble related to this project. Best of luck to me for the next one month :-)

The Prelims Over :-)

Looking at the few results that have come out, its not been the happiest of times, but its not like I expected to rock my exams.

These 3 weeks have been nerve-wracking. First, it was back to back papers. That pretty much left you with no time to really brood over the previous paper or the next one. My acid-test was the Surgery paper. My relationship with Surgery hasn’t been smooth. I like the subject. I love it. Its amazing how that is possible. Surgery is Anatomy clinicalised, if there is such a word. I used to HATE Anatomy. I couldn’t visualize anything in there. But, here I am, 3 years down the line, liking the subject that is the advanced course of the subject I hated.

Any way, so as much as I love the subject, I’m not very confident about it. So, when it comes to an exam or a practical I get so paranoid. The day before my Surgery paper, I was at my wits’ end. It is all thanks to my dad who somehow got me through that paper, with all his discussions the day before. Before my Surgery 2 paper, we did the same, but it wasn’t as successful. My paper wasn’t the dream that I wished I’d had. It was a cross-over between a normal dream and reality.

The rest of the subjects have been ok. I know my Obstetrics paper wasn’t as great as my Gynaec paper and the difference in the marks showed it. I know that my Med 1 paper was 100 times better than my Med 2 paper. Yes, those marks showed that too. My practicals were pretty fine. The Gynae pracs were especially better than expected. I got decent marks too. My internal assessment marks for my pracs are more than those for theory, so that does say something. The med practical was supposed to  be fine, but my marks didn’t show it. I was pretty disappointed with that.

At the start of this prelim exam, I just prayed that I get through it somehow, any how. I did. THAT is an achievement. For a month back, I was totally unprepared. Totally, completely, fully. I didn’t know how things were going to fall in place. They did. Not perfectly, but they did. To me, that is all that matters. A friend of mine says I’m overly competitive. I don’t believe that is true. I know the kind of answers I write or give in Vivas. After having taken exams for the past 20 years, I can say I’m an expert at it. There was a time when my papers were held up in front of the class to demonstrate how a paper should be written. Even now, in medicine, there is always something that I like to incorporate in my answers to make them better than the person before me. After all, the checking of papers is relative, isn’t it? All students study the same amount. All students write the same amount. They write the same things too (biology of the body won’t change with each paper, will it?). The difference between a 67/80 and a 40/80 is the method of presentation. It is your answer that shows your ability to succeed. And, I know I have to keep doing that to score more.

Do these scores matter anywhere? Not really. But, they do stand to give me a shot of confidence. So, I know that next time I write a Gynaecology paper, I shall be sure of myself when I’m writing it. The Obstetrics paper, on the other hand, will require some more effort on my part. When I know that I’m managed to score among the top brass of my batch, I know that I’m up there knowledge-wise.

These upcoming preparation leave days are going to make all the difference. I know that. It is going to be one tough month of studying. But, having gone through my prelims, I know I need to work extra-hard to stop myself from losing it before or during the paper. Our practical dates have also been declared and they are a month away from the theory exams. So, the upcoming 3 months are going to be the make or break of my Medicine journey. In this last leg, I can’t give up or be loose. I’m going to make each and every day, each and every second count.

R.I.P

Thank You Andy!!

2012 has been a very just year. It gave each of the Top 4 their deserving Grand Slams. That's a nice statistic :-)

Congrats to the winners of 2012:
Australian Open - Novak Djokovic
French Open - Rafael Nadal (yay!!!)
Wimbledon - Roger Federer
US Open - Andy Murray

Another interesting fact is that they won in the order of their rankings at the start of this year :-))

To The Teachers Who Made Me

Every year on Teacher’s Day, I call up one school teacher to wish her. I may not call any body else, but I have to call her. This year, when that did not happen, I couldn’t sit still. I kept fiddling with my cellphone, trying her number many times. I wondered, when she did not pick up on any of the calls, whether she had shifted; and whether I would ever be able to wish her a Happy Teacher’s Day again.

This is my class teacher and Maths Teacher of Class 9 and 10, Mrs. Siraj. She was new to our school and was given the responsibility of our class. She was brilliant. There is no other word to describe her. Maths teachers are always intelligent, but she had a way about her. She was strict and, at the same, sweet too. She treated us all equally, a quality so needed but so unfrequently found in our school. She was partial to our class, obviously. The number of times she scolded us for making too much noise (and our class was above the Principal’s Office) are too many to count. She said that since we were her children, it reflected upon her ability as a mother, when we were unruly and noisy. She scolded a lot of girls for being unlady-like, but you could always see that she really cared.

Did she pick me out to be her special one? No. But, she always supported us when it came to sharpening our talent. When our school had to send the 8 brightest students for a ‘Catch ‘Em Young Programme’ by Infosys, she chose me. When I got selected amongst the top 30 in the city to attend this program, she told me that she knew I had it in me to be the only one selected from our school. When I did bad in Maths, she was always there to guide me (in the process criticise me for my silly mistakes). I remember that we had Practice Exams before our ICSE boards. She gave me a 92/100 in Maths, despite my having solved all the sums correctly. She told me that she had cut my marks for the steps I hadn’t written. Nobody was going to look at my Practice Exam marks, but I was not to make the mistake of skipping steps in the Boards. When I got that 99/100 in my boards, I was disappointed because somehow, I had still managed to skip a step or two. She let me solve so many different papers during my Preparation Leave. My mother used to go to school to meet her so that she could correct those papers. And she did it. Without a word about the extra work she had to do.

I still remember that last day of school…we were all so emotional. Our days in school had been cut short by our Principal. We were to sit at home a week earlier now. It was a Friday and we had a double Maths lesson at the end of the day. Usually, this lesson was reserved for tests. This Friday was no different. We complained to all our other teachers that it was our last day at school, and Mrs. Siraj was giving us a Maths test to end school life with. The other teachers must have talked to her, because she came into class and said she wouldn’t want to disappoint us so much. She cancelled that test. Instead, she spoke to us for an entire hour…talked to us about life, about how whatever happens, we stood stand strong and confident about ourselves…how our parents are the foundation that we should never let go of…friends may come and go, but parents always remain there…so even when they become old and tired, we should stand by them, because they are the ones who made us…there were so many other nice things she said…there wasn’t one person in class that wasn’t crying when she ended when the bell rang. She had made cards for each and every one of us. Individual cards with different messages for each of us. She made us realize how much we had loved school, how much we had loved her and how much we were going to miss when we got out of that school.

I say I owe everything I am, to that great school, St. Mary’s School, Pune. I also owe the same amount to Mrs. Siraj. She managed to keep me grounded despite my school values that inculcated a somewhat different idea. She made me a more focused person with the will to do something with my life…to make her proud that I am her student.

The year we got out of school, I called her up first to wish her on 5^th September. I called up other teachers too. But, as the years passed the calls reduced, the contacts were lost, and I probably became a long-gone memory in my teachers’ minds. With Mrs. Siraj, that was never the case. I make it a point to call her up every year. It makes my Teachers’ Day complete. It is magical to hear her voice when she says, “Thank you so much!”, in her typical accent J It’s been 6 years now…and 6 phone calls down the line, when I couldn’t wish her on Teacher’s Day, I couldn’t rest. The idea of not wishing her for the rest of my life, in case she had changed her number, was too huge to digest. I sent out messages to all other teachers that I had numbers of, to tell myself that I hadn’t wasted my Teacher’s Day. It wasn’t enough though. I tried the next day too. When she didn’t pick up then too, I had to believe that I had finally lost contact. I’d lost contact with another favourite teacher of mine 2 years after leaving school. This had at least lasted 6 years. A little disappointed, I turned back to studying when I got a phone call from her!! She wanted to know who’s number it was. When I told her it was me, she was delighted. She actually told me that she had been waiting for my call the previous day, because I call her every year J That made me feel so happy!! I could finally wish my favourite teacher on a day that is made for this very reason. Now, I have her cellphone number. She said, “Now you can call me any time and I’ll pick up.” Thank God. Now I won’t lose contact.

A lot of students in BJ gave our HoDs and HoUs roses and bouquets on 5^th. I wondered whether I should have done the same for them too. After all, they are going to take our Vivas in the Univ Exams. It’s always nice to know that you’ve done your bit too. But, then I thought, “Do I really respect all of them?” And my answer was no. Yes, I respect them as teachers. But its not real respect that I feel. It is more the respect that you’re supposed to give people in power. Mrs. Siraj, now that is what respect feels like. No matter what, I know I want to wish her on Teacher’s Day. When that is the kind of respect I have for a teacher, I shall wish them or gift them too.

There is one teacher in college that I respect. That’s Dr. Khadse, the HoD of the Dept. of Paediatrics. That woman is one hell of a person. She is intelligent, loves her work, manages the Department really well, takes an active interest in us UG students and is a disciplinarian too. That is a woman to respect. And, that is a teacher I took blessings from. Whether she remembers me in the future or not, is a different matter. The point is that such people are rare. There was another teacher I really really liked, but she got transferred to another college a few months back. That was my Guide for the Hospital-Acquired Infections seminar – Dr. Mrs. Dube. A very sweet, soft-spoken person who naturally emanated a radiance of joy and freshness wherever she goes. I missed her on 5^th and made sure I got through to her. Lucky for me, she still uses her Pune cellphone number J

Lastly, that teacher I lost contact with. She was my Hindi teacher in school. Mrs. Joshi.  And the very best Hindi Teacher I’ve ever had. My Hindi literally flourished under her guidance. I even got an all-time record marks of 87.5 and 88 out of 100 each in my papers Hindi grammar and Hindi Literature. There was something about her and the way she taught us the subject. There was so much enthusiasm and love for the subject! It just made you want to do well in that subject! I loved her and her personality. I wish she hadn’t moved to Nagpur and from there elsewhere….maybe someday, I shall meet her…till then, its through this blog that I say, Happy Teacher’s Day, Mrs. Joshi. Thank you for making sure that my love for Hindi only grew J

Angry

I am so ANGRY rite now. Angry to the extent that my concentration is being intercepted by all sorts of childish thoughts about what I would like to do to the person concerned. That led to me writing. Nothing frees my mind more than putting down in words how exactly I feel.

About two years back, we were celebrating the fact that Paediatrics does not include a journal. We did not know then, about a notebook that you have to prepare. This notebook is supposed to have 30 cases. Ok, so I came to know that this year. I spent two whole days and the night in between them, writing this notebook and managed to get that load off my head before the term end examination was done. Unluckily for me, by the time I went to the respective teachers, they weren’t in a mood to sign.

Today, I got the signature from my second CR pretty easily. She was sweet enough to just sign in the index and told us to put ticks inside ourselves. No, it the other CR who’s the nidus of my anger.

Since, in second year we did not know about this journal thing, we didn’t bother to really approach any body. Now 2 years down the line, we have genuine cases in our notebooks, but no CR to get them checked from. The current CRs are playing handball with us (we being that poor ball). First, the CR started checking my journal, but then he got bored and shooed us off saying that he’d never seen our faces, that we weren’t posted under him, so he couldn’t give us his signature. We had to go to the other CR, who told us we had to get permission from the lecturer so that the CR would be eligible to check our journals. All this, despite telling her (and him) that they’d given signatures to the rest of my batch.

 Finally, after pleading to him and given him his supposed due share of respect, he said he’ll check our journals at 7:30 pm. I was not in the mood to go all the way to college, 10 kms away (100 bucks by rick one way) for a signature I wasn’t sure of getting. I gave my journal to my hostelite friend and told her to get it signed for me. But, I should’ve realised that this CR is a jackass through and through. He expects people to come all the way from home to get his darling signatures. And, when they don’t arrive, he simply says, “ No. Tell her to come herself.”

I don’t understand what problem these residents have. It may be called human nature to reap the benefits of attention showered on you once in a while, but, seriously, do you do that when you’re dealing with 9^th semester students, who will be appearing for the Final MBBS exams in 2 months time?? Are you that cold-hearted? What does he know about the trouble of coming all the way from home to college. After all, he isn’t a localite, right?

Jerk, absolute jerk. Ultimately, we have to go to him any way. Because, our appearing or not appearing for the practical exam depends on that signature of his in the index, doesn’t it?

Jerk. I hope he fails in his exam. Or at least, if not that extreme, I hope he falls down after I’ve gotten his signature and fractures his hand so that he can’t sign any more. That’ll save quite some time and energy of people wanting to study.

I am also pissed off at the people from my batch. Yesterday, a few of them went and got his signature. One of those was a girl who used to keep telling me to tell her when I would be going to the department to get those signatures. There are some really mean people in college. Selfish enough to not even inform. Nice. Its been that kind of a day, you know. You’re just angry at the whole world and the whole world actually does things to get you even angrier!

By the way, that workshop in Delhi got postponed. I don’t think I’ll be attending it now. My prelims last from 24^th Sep-9^th Oct. The final date of submission for ICMR is 15^th Oct. So I don’t have much time to do anything, let alone travel. Well, now I’ll celebrate my birthday in Pune. I don’t like that. I was really looking forward to this Delhi trip and spending my birthday there. I guess I haven’t realsied how much this project is jinxed. 

Philosophy

I so love this song. Especially the words,
"Ho Shyaam Bhi Toh Kya,
Jab Hoga Andhera,
Tab Payega Dar Mera,
Us Dar Pe Phir Hogi Teri Subah"

What they mean is, that in your darkest hour, when you're down and out, God will open a door for you, a door that'll lead the way to a bright morning and a bright successful future ahead. So, however tough times may be, keep trying. Help is always going to be round the corner :-) 

Exam Forms

Yes, the day is finally here. That dreaded day when I submit my Examination form. Yesterday, we had to run around a lot for a lot of things that need to be done.
1. The Challan - You get that challan in the Students' Section in college and then after having filled in the details, you go to the bank in college to fill your exam fees. I don't why and how it happened, but when I went to fill in my challan, there were just 2 people ahead of me. For the past three years, I've had to wait in that damned sun and then in a stuffy room (called the bank branch) to pay that money. Yesterday, however, luck smiled upon me a little. I could even go for my Gynaecology lecture, I was so sure I was going to miss!

2. The No-Dues Certificates- There are two such certificates for people living at home (god knows how many for those using the Hostel). One is from the Hostel saying we have no dues there, and another from the College saying that we've paid our fees and we have no dues here either. I was smart and lucky enough to pay my fees on Thursday itself. This fees business is really annoying. I started telling myself that I had to pay the fees way back in March. Obviously, I never did it. I realised that last week and since then, its been a task to remind myself every single night. Somehow, I did that on Wednesday night. I was so lucky, because when I came to college yesterday, there was a HUGE line of students waiting to pay their fees; a line that did not get shorter until the guy collecting the money declared "lunchtime". Phew!! The great part about paying your fees close to the exam form filling time is that you have those Receipts ready at hand. In  my first year, I had to waste a few days looking for those receipts (we'd paid the whole money at the start of the year itself) :-P

3. The Certificates from ObGy and Anaesthesia Departments -  This is new. This is NOT nice. When your examination form have to be submitted the very next day, and that ObGy Department decides to act mean because they have a three-day workshop to conduct, it hits your nerves at all the wrong spots. It definitely made me want to spit all kinds of stuff at my Professors and maybe even the HoD, if he'd turned up. But, I wasn't alone so I was restrained by my friends big time. They did give us the stamps that we required. After all, a whole batch failing because they refused to co-operate will be much bigger news than some stupid workshop that went the chaos-way.
The thing about these certificates is that it is plain useless work. We have to stick our photos on the certificate page of our Journals. Then, we have to catch hold of a Lecturer, and only a Lecturer of the concerned Department to get it attested ( which consists of his/her signature and the stamp of their designation). So, you may have the best of acquaintance with a person at a higher designation, it will be of no use.
Choosing these two departments only, and not the others fails to spark any light inside my considerably intelligent head. The only reason I can think of, is that its their last way of troubling us. Anaesthetists are never outside the OT. So, you roam about carrying your OT material and get inside every OT possible to catch hold of those people. The Department itself is also located just outside the OT. So, you may be told to wear your OT slippers at least, to enter it.
ObGy has the most number of OPDs that a stream can have. Our timetable in ObGy is like a superfast busy Deccan Queen. Every day there's something different. There's Antenatal OPD, Gynaecology OPD, MTP OPD, Labour Room Day, Wards Day and OT Day. 6 out of 6. Nothing repeats. So, getting hold of lecturers is pretty tough. You shall only have one lecturer in the ward on one day, or you simply run around to the other places, located on a completely different floor!

We did get the stamps and the certificates. At the end of the day though, my legs had given in to that accumulated lactic acid. They did not want to walk, neither did they want to move. So did my mind actually. I slept pretty early. But, thanks to that wonderful ghost that haunts me this year (''YOU DO NOT KNOW A THING") I got up early to study.
Exam Forms shall be submitted on Monday ( hopefully, I shall get my No-Dues Certificate from the hostel. It is such a pain in the ass to wait for days on the end for just a formality! I don't even use the hostel, and I weren't forced to pick up books from my hostelite friends, I wouldn't even know where it was! However, I still wait. Wait for the same amount of time as my hostel colleagues. That's the fairness of this world, isn't it?  

P.S. I am officially certified to write my exam now :-D The college thinks so. Do I??

Death

Death has always intrigued me. I wonder what it is like to go on the other of life…but more importantly, it cuts through my heart to see the people that you leave behind…the crying and all can be managed…but the hidden feelings, the pain, the unhappiness felt can’t even be measured.

I have seen relatives crying aloud in groups in the corridors of Sassoon. Initially it was unsettling. But, soon I got used to it. There are things you can’t do anything about. And death is one of them. Yesterday, however, I went back to being unsettled again.

I have wondered for a long time, what I would go through if I lose a patient. A patient under your care surrenders his life to you. That is a huge responsibility. Losing that life would make me so guilty…in fact, a lot of times, I’ve decided on not taking up braches that involve life and death…I don’t think I would be able to live with the thought of not being able to prevent death. Yesterday, the event unfolding before me and my emotions during that time, proved to me that I still haven’t strengthened my mind to face serious situations in the future.

On Friday, a friend and I were examining a patient of Alcoholic Liver Disease. On the bed next to him, was a young patient. He was asleep when his father started to wake him up. He did not wake up…his father slapped his face a few times, but when there wasn’t any response, he went and called the doctor in-charge. They managed to get the patient to wake up. I was a little scared that they might lose the patient, but he was breathing the whole time, so I was sure he was hanging on. Yesterday when the same events repeated, there was no respiratory movement and know response…the patient got an infarction in front of our eyes and the doctors couldn’t do anything to save him. They tried CPR but couldn’t do much…he expired…

The whole time, his father was standing at the side, expressionless. When he was told that his son hadn’t made it, he tried making a few calls. His face looked a bag full of suppressed emotions as he tried to deal with the problem of range for his cellphone. Looking at the way he was walking around and trying to remain calm, I wished he’d had one more person to manage him. After taking the help of the people around him, he managed to let his relatives know, I guess...That done, he sat on his son’s bed. And he just stared at that face. Then, he took his son’s head in his lap and brushed his fingers through his son’s hair. A lot of times.

That was when it happened. There was a change of expression…a glimpse of the actual pain he was going through. He kept staring at that pale face, kept running his fingers through those hair…with speed that showed his intent at wanting to get his son back. It was so painful to watch him like that. Helpless, broken, lost. I wanted to go and give him a hug. I wanted to tell him it was ok to cry and that he should. But, all I could do was stand at a distance.

It hurts so much to think of some person you know, as dead…a friend of mine expired in an accident 4 years back. She wasn’t a very close friend, but the shock and pain I had felt at that time, makes me uncomfortable even today. I still care and still wish she was around with us. If that is what acquaintances feel about the dead, how would the relatives feel? How would parents feel holding their children’s bodies in their hands; the same hands that had held those children when they were born, the same hands that had held their children’s hands as they took their first steps…the dreams, the beautiful pictures painted suddenly come crashing down and all you stare at is that white face. You want to do anything to bring them back, even sacrifice yourself if it would bring them back. But, you just sit there, crying to yourself…trying to move on, but not being able to get rid of those memories.

And this is where I think, should I, as a doctor, be so sentimental about death? This wasn’t even my patient, or a patient I’d talked to. But, I still felt it. Wouldn’t it be worse if a patient under my care lost his battle? Apart from feeling guilty, I would keep thinking about the effects of that death on the rest of his family. This will only increase my own guilt. In my sensitive side’s defence though, I can only say : It takes time to get used to something, or to find a way to get used to it. And where Medicine is concerned, failures are more serious than failures anywhere else.

Food for thought, I guess… 

That's What I Feel Like Singing!!

Iceberg

The iceberg has some wonderful peculiarities. The most important one is obviously its shape. What you see is the tip and there is a whole huge world of ice underneath. Final year is that world of ice. It all starts way back in first year when you are a starry-eyed kid, fresh out of junior college. You arrive at the gates of this strange place. You have lots of exciting hopes and dreams. More importantly, you have some really, really exciting preconceived ideas about how your new life is going to be. A week into college however, those ideas changes pretty dramatically.

You already fall behind your said timetable…the textbooks become hard to understand…the teachers and their English even harder…you wonder why there are so many new words you have to learn…and at some point of time, you ask yourself why you wanted this. Of course, the answer usually revolves around some ancient childhood dream (yours or your parents’), or the fact that you love Biology or (in my case) the fact that you know you couldn’t have gone through with the other option (Engg).

The problems that hit you the hardest don’t come in your first year. They aren’t even related to your first year subjects. And they involve people concerned with the administration of your college (especially if it’s a Government one), and people who are senior to you (beyond undergraduates). These problems are concerned with some subjects that nag you from the start of college to the end of college, namely PSM, Medicine, Surgery, ObGy, Paediatrics. And there is just one word that describes these problems completely.

JOURNALS

Yes, Journals. Nobody tells you in your first year that you should complete your PSM journal at that time or they are going to trouble you in Third year. No. You make that mistake and pay for it for half of you Third Minor. Similarly, there are 4 postings of each of the next 4 subjects I’ve mentioned above. Nobody bothers to tell you to write cases in that journal when you go for your first ever posting. In fact, if its Surgery in our college, you convince your Unit that a termend  examination is not necessary. You manage to live happily until reality strikes you in your final year.

Now instead of studying hard, you get down to completing journals. Journals of three previous terms. Then you get down to hunting the concerned people down. But, oops. Its been three years you know. The Chief Resident has started his own private consulting and is no longer concerned with your college. The Lecturer of that time has done his required duty and moved onto better things. And the Junior Resident (who you’d called an idiot and many other things for marking you absent on some ancient day) is now the Chief Resident. Yikes. It is going to be difficult to explain how you’ve managed to get so late :-p

We’ve been lucky enough to get Units who either pushed us into completing our journals in the concerned posting itself, or have at least decent people who don’t create a ruckus when it comes to signing journals for 2 years ago. But, there are certain people who do create some problems. Like our first Surgery Unit. They took a term-end examination before giving us signs on our journals for our 2^nd year posting.

Well, Medicine is tough. The day you enter that Medical College with those twinkling eyes, your training starts. And Journals and their completion are the best tools to teach perseverance, determination and patience. You also end up learning the origin of the famous proverbs “Try Try till you Succeed” and “Try Try, Don’t Cry” . Yup, definitely Med School!!  

The Olympics - A Story

The London Olympics got a grand close, just like the wonderfully British Welcome they had received 17 days back. It is surprising how these Games got over so fast. They were to last for 17 days. How these 17 days raced past us, cannot be expressed in words! I guess my favourite part of the Opening Ceremony was Voldemort making his grand entry. As an avid Harry Potter fan, there is something in that guy that makes me love him for being a part of Harry’s world. This is what happens when a series that made the formative years of your childhood, comes to an end. You end up liking all the villains too, because they remind you of that wonderful story that filled you up with hope, courage and the effervescent feeling that you are not, and will never be, alone.

My second favourite moment was the sequence of the Queen entering the Ceremony. Having the knowledge that Royals have a code of behavior that cannot be shaken, I felt that it was really sporting of the Queen to agree to show the fun side of herself too J

My third favourite (and this is because it is my favourite in every Olympics) was the lighting of the Olympic Flame. There are so many ways to do it. Trust Danny Boyle to take the kinkiest, most beautiful way. The petals provided to each country came together to burn together, as if to signify the message of the Olympics in fire : Peace, Brotherhood and Togetherness. Thank You for that spectacle Mr. Boyle. If nothing else, this shall be remembered for generations to come.

I want to take this Opportunity to list down some athletes who struck a chord, who scripted history, who got those medals, whose smiles and happiness at winning, showed why the Olympics are so special.

At the top of the list :

ANDY MURRAY:

So it the usual practice for me to support Andy Murray when Rafa isn’t around. Andy has had the misfortune of playing in an era when there are three players (Rafa, Roger, Novak) better than him. Try as hard he can, he can’t beat them all. Umtimately, he ends up getting beaten by one of them any way. People (and these three too) say that Andy’s time will come. But, hey, time doesn’t wait for anyone. Andy’s chances of winning a Grand Slam seem to get slimmer by the day. A month back, I abandoned watching the Wimbledon Final between him and Roger because, after a breath-taking first set, he played a loser’s game and managed to lose a match that could’ve left him saying, “I won the Wimbledon. Now I can die in peace.” Instead, on that podium, he cried his heart out. Imagine my terror when he was set to play Novak in the Semi-final of the Olympics. I had relegated him to the bronze medal match. It was such a relieving surprise to read that he won that match in straight sets!!

But, then came the opponent for the Gold Medal. Roger Federer. Man, I couldn’t believe his luck. Federer had managed to get past Del Potro ( who I like for the simple reason that he won that US Open back in 2010, beating both Novak and Roger) in three sets, the third 19-17. That was not a result to get, especially when you support Del Potro. Any way, point is, this Final would be a repeat of the Wimbledon Final. I couldn’t see a different result. But, a different result is what Andy had in store. He played like a MANIAC. I can imagine how Einstein must’ve worked when he started to solve the problem that lead to E=MC*2. Andy got a Gold Medal instead. A fine gold medal at his own Olympics.. That day, Mr. Andy Murray, you just pushed yourself up by a 1000 steps. You can only go forward from here J Thank You J

USAIN BOLT:

A bolt of lightning. Frankly, I don’t watch much of Athletics. But, at the Olympics, that is my main attraction. And Mr. Usain Bolt comes and steals your breath away (and I mean just one, max two breaths, ‘coz he finishes his races in that much time!!) It is so difficult to defend your own titles. Especially, when they come in timings like 9.63 and 19.32 seconds. But, you did it. In style. Wow.

They can talk about Yohan Blake, Tyson Gay, Justin Gatlin, Asafa Powell all they want. You are Usain Bolt. And, you shall beat them any way. I actually stayed up to watch your 100m and 200m final. Just to watch you win. It was worth every minute of the staying J That’s saying something for races that, combined, took less than half a minute :-p

By the way, Volunteer kid Chris is a really lucky guy. He got your cap with a 2 minute conversation. What would I do to be in his place!!

MICHAEL PHELPS:

There is one and there shall always be one. Beijing is remembered for two things: The grand opening ceremony and Michael Phelps and his astonishing octet of medals.

Obviously, it was difficult this time. You wouldn’t be human to win Golds in all the six events you’d entered into. This time there were Silvers and a Bronze around your neck. Hey, different colours always look good J You became the most celebrated athlete in Olympic history. 22 bloody medals!! 22. 18 golds. They presented you with that trophy. That just isn’t enough. 22 medals!! Wow. You have inspired not one, but two or even three generations to take up swimming.

I feel so incredibly lucky to be born in an era where you have been at your best. Out-of-the-world stuff, and I was there to watch it!! Great stories for the next generations to come J

MARK ZONDERLAND:

I do not understand much of Men’s Gymnastics. Most of them do the same stuff. The only place I give them different marks, in their landing. But, even a novice like me, knew I was watching something spectacular when Mark Zonderland started his routine on the single bar. Gasps echoed all through the watching crowd. The crazy stuff he did, had people standing up, mouths open, eyes pouting out of their sockets. When he landed (perfect by the way), you didn’t even need scores to tell that he’d done it. He beat the German guy by a comfortable margin.

I don’t know whether you’ll be able to produce a near-perfect spectacle like that again, Mr. Zonderland. But, for that Gold Medal performance and your infectious smile, I shall look out for you next time. Thank You for that one-minute trip to Wonderland!!

DAVID RUDISHA:

One Man Army. In the real world, you do not lead a 800m race from the start and still manage to finish first, let alone break your own world record in the process. But then, Mr. Rudisha wasn’t running in the real world any way. He was running in the Olympics. He was running his own race. The first individual world record to be broken at the London Olympics, and there couldn’t be a better guy to do it. Hats off Sir. Hats off. You are a wonder!

SUSHIL KUMAR:

We had to wait for that last day to see this wonderful guy in action. I would seem very mean here, but I don’t see how Indian sportsmen can repeat their feats of glory every four years. In a country starved off medals, any athlete who brings home a medal is so hyped up by the media, he manages to disappear into oblivion in the next Games. It happened to Rajvardhan Rathore, it happened to Abhinav Bindra, and it happened to Vijender Singh. I saw it coming to Sushil Kumar too.

But that is what sets this guy apart. He managed to keep himself grounded, practiced hard, won important tournaments when it mattered and gave himself confidence and hope that he could win again. He said he would change the colour of his medal. That he did. With a lot of confidence. A Silver Medal to the guy who was made the Flag-Bearer of India in the Opening Ceremony. A deserving choice for that honour. Today, he is the only Indian to have two consecutive medals in the Olympics. I can’t think of anyone who deserves this piece of history more than Sushil Kumar. Proud to be an Indian J

MC MARY KOM:

If there were a few people I would bet on, for Gold medals, she would head that list. Her story to success is, in itself inspiring. Then, you see her. You see her confidence, her smile, her humility. You get inspired further. A married woman, mother of two kids, a woman whose husband gave up everything to see her succeed….a boxer who reached several heights of boxing throughout her career but who could never get a chance to enter Olympic glory. When she finally did, she was 29 and her weight category wasn’t included. She boxed her way to a Bronze (Nicole Adams is just too strong) medal. It was disappointing, but then, she got a Medal. That, she does deserve. Every single bit. We don’t know where the road will take you next, Mary Kom. But, wherever you go, every woman shall come to you and say, “Thank You.” You’ve given us what we all dearly need in this country. The confidence to fight.

PARUPALLI KASHYAP:

Admidst all the celebrations for Saina Nehwal, one person has been forgotten. This is the first Indian Male player to reach the badminton quarter-final in the Olympics. Wow. He wasn’t even tipped as a medal contender. He was just another of the Badminton squad sent to London. While all the limelight was placed on Nehwal, Jwala Gutta-Ashwini Ponappa and Gutta-Diju, Mr. Kashyap probably just practiced on his own, getting his best shots in order to stand a chance.

They say Luck and God favour the bold and hard-working. That is exactly what happened. Mr. Kashyap was nicknamed “Giant Killer” as he set about contriving the defeats of top-ranked players. This was true sports. No hye, just plain sweat, toil and determination. He had to bow out in the quarters to that Malaysian guy who won the Silver. During that time, he captured the imagination of millions (and the hearts of many girls, I’m sure. He’s pretty cute J). I hope you improve upon your performance in Rio. Would love to see a Bronze at least, against your name, Mr. Kashyap.

GAGAN NARANG:

The shocking news of Abhinav Bindra crashing out of qualification seemed hard to digest to the entire nation. I guess, the defending champion not being able to enter the final, made us forget that there was another, a stronger and more stable, Indian in the fray. And, in pretty good form too. That final was nerve –racking. You didn’t seem at your best. Other than Mary Kom, you were my bet for the Gold. You deserved it, after 2 previous heart-breaking Olympics. But, then, does the colour really matter? A medal is a medal. Its not like the Gold Medalist worked much harder than you did. A Podium finish. That’s what you wanted, and that’s what you got.

India’s first medal in these Olympics came to a guy, who really deserved it. That medal means more to us than a Gold. We llok forward to many more J

VIJAY KUMAR:

An Army-Subedar participated in the Olympics, and the nation didn’t even know. Then that Army-Subedar won the first Silver of these Olympics, ans suddenly the whole nation was singing praises of this guy, as if they had been sure of him all along. Welcome to India J

Vijay Kumar, you are the epitome of concentration and restraint. People would jump about and dance if they’d won silver. You looked back with a slight smile on your face and raise your hand. That’s it. Army really does discipline you completely.

That final was fantastic! You were in medal contention throughout. And, really, that Silver was what you deserved and no less. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. You came out of nowhere to capture the imagination of the nation. I hope you manage to maintain that. Thank you J      

OSCAR PISTORUS:

Around two years back, a double amputee dared to dream about competing with the able-bodied. Others would have been happy competing in the Para-Olympics.  Not Mr. Pistorus. He challenged, questioned, fought. Ultimately, he got what he wanted – a chance to compete in the London Olympics 2012. What is inspiring about this guy is his will and guts. He knows he has to work twice or maybe thrice as hard as the rest to match up to them. But, he won’t give up. That is what works for him.

Luck favours the brave and again it did here too. South Africa made it into the Final of the 4X100 relay although they couldn’t complete the heat, thanks to a push by some Kenyan Athlete. He pushed the second South-African down and he ended up with a dislocated shoulder. South Africa appealed and they got into the Final. Yes, they came 8^th. But, you know what, Oscar Pistorus ran like there was no future to his existence without this race. He ran the race of his life. And I saw the race of my life. You totally deserved to run in that final. Seeing you run, I know I have one of those inspiring moments I can look back upon when things aren’t looking up for me. Bravo!!

GAIR MARIAL:

He wanted to run but his country has no Olympic Committee. How could he manage to get here then? In the spirit of the Games, the IOA put forth their hand. And Marial ran under the Olympic flag. I waited 17 days to watch him run in that Men’s Marathon. When he crossed the finish line, he had created his own history. When you want to do something and you find yourself facing a load of obstacles, stop and think calmly. Usually, there is a way out. Marial proved it. So good to know that when you want something really bad, you manage to somehow figure everything out J

CHRIS HOY:

Yeah, you’d won a cupboard full of medals before. Yes, there were younger players out there. Yes, this is your last Olympics. But, yes, you had the determination to do it yet again (7^th medal I think, and 7^th gold). The oldest guy in the pack came away with the Gold. And then, not just Britain, the whole world raised a toast to a legend who ended things in style and how. You ROCK!!

SAINA NEHWAL:

It was disappointing to win the Bronze the way she did. But, I’m selfish and I’m glad she won it. This girl’s been one determined woman. She hasn’t gone the Sania Mirza way. Instead, she has managed to keep herself grounded and yearns to keep winning. Yeah, I think she deserved a lot more than a Bronze. But, it isn’t easy to scale that Chinese mountain. You can’t get it your way everytime. I’m happy for her but I wish that in Rio, she does manage to change the colour of that medal.

Yes. That’s the people who really made an impact on me this time. I enjoyed watching every bit of the Olympics. I can’t wait for Rio 2016…the only regret is that, well, everyone will be four years older, including me :-p