Competitiveness

The urge to compete, the urge to win, the urge to somehow get ahead in a never-ending race of examinations.....
And I have suddenly got it!! I swear, I was never into the business of wanting to get more marks than somebody else, of wanting to study more, of wanting to KNOW that I am the better. I have been laid-back in life, in studying actually.
I have this crazy, maddening feeling that I need to perform better than some others. In fact, I now believe that I can do it. I know it might be tough and can definitely take a toll on me, but I simply want to do it all. I don't know exactly how this has got into me. But, I can say that the feeling has been building up. It started with my Gynaec term and the great reviews I got there, was carried on by my Pyschiatry Term-end, in which I ended up with the highest marks in the batch (37/50). Anaesthesia added another boost by coming up with a 20/25 in the MCQ test. Then, there have been the results of the current terminal examination. I have got the highest marks in the theory examination of Microbiology (38/50), and I think I did pretty well in Pathology (theory) also to get 39.5/50. I wish I had got better teachers to take the viva. I would have done much better than 26.5 and 23 respectively.
My point is that, I finally think I'm going in the right direction and that things are working well for me (touchwood). It is just like the form of a sportsperson. At times, you are at your best and all the hard work just helps you do much than you normally would have. Other times, you can do the best your body can manage, but you still don't reach the peaks that you have set yourself. Right now, I feel confident, I feel I am capable of doing things I want to do, I feel comfortable with all the marks, and I don't feel the pressure to perform. I want to perform and I  know I will. I just am so excited to start (and Parasitology only makes things even spicier!!).
So, with all the focus coming in, I love and enjoy Medicine even more. What more can a student want?

Micro, I Love You!!

I do, I do, I do.....Never thought I'd be saying this, when I initially started with second year. I thought Pharmac was going to be my cup of tea. Guess, I'm not all that different from the rest of the crowd after all.
So, our Micro Quiz eliminations were held on Saturday. I can't say that I studied a lot, or that I spent sleepless nights, studying up a storm, but I did as much as I could. And I think I did pretty well in the Eliminations. I did not get chosen for the final team of two, but I came third. By one mark. So, I'm a back up for the team. I'm still going to attend the extra lectures, because I really feel that I can DO Microbiology, and that something just clicks really well. So I want to learn it, another way, and another way, and a fourth way is there is one.
This is something that clicked me after my Micro paper during the terminals. It had gone pretty well, especially the MCQs. So, I just like doing Micro. And, of course, I can't imagine myself doing Pharmac or Patho for days together, but I can imagine that happening with Micro. And I loved solving the MCQs on Friday, as a preparation for the elims. It was so much of fun!!! Plus, the teacher conducting the elims, told me, "Good Performance!". Now when that happens in a subject, you are bound to like a wee bit more than normal, rite? :-)
So, I'm doing Parasitology now. I love the new book feel. I'm doing it from Arora and Arora. After a year of reading the same old textbooks, I literally pounced on this one. I like it. It is said to be the toughest part of Microbiology, but, I'm on a high right now, and I really want to finish a major chunk of the syllabus in Parasito.
Do I regret not being a part of the team? I do. Especially when it was a matter of one mark. But, the responsibility now is less, and I can enjoy and study, both. Hell, I really did not want to meet my uncle who's coming down from the USA with the kids, regretting every moment I spend with them, because it was cutting into my study time. So, I can meet him with a clear conscience, and also study as much as I want to, at the same time. And I can attend the extra lectures. There isn't a ban on them. So, somehow, the regret or sadness or whatever you may want to call it, is a very small part of all the emotions I felt at that time, or those that I feel even now. I guess, I'm really happy that I didn't do very badly, to crash all my hopes of doing well in Micro down to the very depth of the Earth.
And my next target is: Distinction in Microbiology. And by more than just ONE mark!!!!!

Why does it keep following me???

I haven't written about this before. There is a crappy book called 'JOURNAL' which we are supposed to record our cases in, in every clinical posting. They have a certain number of cases to be seen in every term, which we have to record. Until the Gynaec term started, we didn't really bother about writing journals. But, the Naik Unit ensured that we wrote the entire semester work and get it all signed. As my luck would have, I couldn't get all my stuff signed in time, and hence, due to consistent trailing behind him, the Chief-Resident (CR), knew me pretty well. He even told the HOU that I did not have my journal signed but that I was a very good student. Later on, when he did check my journal, he told me that the HOU, Dr. Naik, was very happy with me. She was delighted that I had done so well, and that I knew my Gynaec stuff pretty well. I was obviously shocked. She had asked me really simple stuff, as I have written before in the entry dated......I was also delighted that after spending days screaming, "Gynaec!!!SOS!!!!!!!!!!!", I actually knew enough to impress a teacher!

Two months down the line, I was again haunting the corridors of Gynaec, as we began our Family-Planning posting. Little did I know that another shocker of sorts awaited me here. My Posting began on June 1st, in the middle of our college holidays. There were hardly any people attending the posting, 'coz every hostelite had run home. We were 5 in number, for the first few days. During that time, the Senior-Resident (SR) took our lectures. I used to answer quite a bit. Hell, I knew stuff so why not let them know that I do. So, the SR took a fancy to me. She'd ask me questions when the others couldn't answer and all that sort of a thing. I did not go for the MTP OPD one day. The next day she said that she hadn't felt like teaching when she saw that I wasn't there. Oh God, why Gynaec!!! Later, during the posting, we were in the Labour Room, and she even made me hold the placenta, as she taught us about the parts and features. I, kinda, became a favourite. Man!

We finished with our Family-Planning term-end today. Finally! It wasn't held before the exams because that way, we wouldn't have attended all the days till the 30th (exams were from 28th June-8th July). It got postponed from 10th July ( the initially decided date) to today. And it turned out to be pretty good. Dr. Bhalerao (the HOU this time), asked me about everything that I knew about Oral Contraceptive Pills. And I was able to answer a lot of his questions. It turned out to be pretty good, especially after the heavy weight of the 'favourite' tag on me. Thankfully that SR wasn't there, and Dr. Bhalerao doesn't know me. He did not say that I needed to read up a lot more or that my basics weren't clear. Which is a good sign.

I just so don't want to do Gynaec!!! I wish I could have gotten so much of appreciation and support in some other term uptil now. But, I end up having the feeling that I don't like Gynaec, and yet, I know it best!!        

Lost....

So the World Cup reached its finish line in style, and splendor and in the very spirit of it has been since the start - a perfect all-nation party. I LOVED the closing ceremony...especially when the flags came up, with people walking along unveiling them...seeing them together makes me believe that unity can exist in this world, and it so strange that unity and brotherhood can only be associated with sports and nothing else. Frankly, I would never dream of watching so much of enthusiasm, and support in any other field. Kudos to the world of Sports for keeping the meaning of these words alive, despite the encroachment that Politics has made.
The final could not have been more different from the prior games. The tension and nerves were visible, as the game was more of trying to simply get a goal rather than making one. It wasn't the best game Spain has played, and definitely isn't too high on the list of great games for Holland either. Yet, I guess, Casillas' tears and the bright  smiles on the faces of the Spanish players made up for everything that the game was not. In the past two years, Spain has risen as a great sporting nation, with successes in Football, Tennis (I was so delighted to see Rafa's picture with Casillas and the Trophy...it made my day!!!), Cycling and Golf. It is uplifting to see the united celebrations amongst the people in every success.
The only thing I am disappointed about is that, this is the End. There isn't anything coming up in the world of sports for about a month, and I feel lost! I'd become so used to watching the French Open, then the World Cup and Wimbledon, interrupted by cricket here and there; I always had something to watch. Now, there isn't anything worth watching, and frankly, there's no use of turning the television on. So I'm totally LOST...
Happens a lot of times, but this year, with the World Cup, I didn't feel it would be that much...on the contrary it is much more, guess it is because the festival reached a high point and just ended...

The journey called the World Cup

The only reason I supported Spain during the Euro 2008 was because there were a lot of Liverpool players in the squad. And Bingo!! They won!
The World Cup is a different story. The team started off on the worst foot any one could have possibly imagined. 0-1 defeat to Switzerland wasn't a part of the script. But, they have bounced back, and today, on July 11th, 2010, they are on the brink of making History. Frankly, it isn't easy to watch a team win by margins like 1-0, in fact, games like that get boring. But, the game that Spain plays is simply weaving magic. one can just watch them pass the ball, keep the possession, and thread through the opposition's defence, almost effortlessly. It is so beautiful! Their game isn't about the goal-scoring or the physical aspect of football. It's about wearing the opposition down, moving through them, tapping the ball around. It feels like music; every game, a new tune, so pleasant to to the eyes, a treat to watch....the rhythm, the sync, everything, so different, so new. The margin of victory never tells it, but every game is a musical to look out for.
The Armada has grown in confidence. To beat teams like Germany, you have to have faith in your abilities to score, faith in your ability to nudge the Jabulani around.
I don't really understand the intricacies of the game. To me, football was always a rough, muddy and u-push-me-I-push-you game. Watching this team, I have witnessed something totally different. Something so new, it makes the game look as beautiful as a match of tennis.
On the other hand, there stand the Dutch. A very different technique, yet so similar. Their game is so much more physical, involving getting the ball, rather than keeping it....their techniques have flourished too....and they have grown more confident than ever. Beating in-form teams like Brazil, rather dismantling them in 45 mins of a game isn't an easy task. And since that momentous victory, the Dutch have only moved forward to the one place that they deserve- Soccer City Stadium.
I root for Spain, simply 'coz, they're my team this World Cup. I hope they win, because they have to play a better game than the Dutch. But, as a football fan, I only want this game to be as wonderful and exciting, as it expected to be, and finally, I want the best team to win. The World Cup needs a new and worthy winner, and the two teams today are the ONLY contenders for it!
GO SPAIN!!      

II/II Over!!

So exams are finally over. I sit here, pondering upon the last two weeks and thinking, I’ve done it!! Now, I only have to worry about studying after about two days. The past week and four days have been enlightening. Firstly, I know for sure that doing Pharmac just the one time, isn’t enough. My paper was no way better than last time, when  I hadn’t even completed my portion properly. And, today, the practical also sent across the same message. It isn’t just enough to have a chapter underlined and marked and coloured and full of charts. You need to know those charts by heart. My aim in the coming few months will be the same. We will, of course, have the entire portion now, for the prelims. If it has been tough the last two times, the prelims are going to be complete torture. ‘Coz there will also be two papers of each subject.

I have also learnt in the past week that my study method for Microbiology is pretty much what it should be. My paper was the best out of all my theory papers and the same can be said about the practical. This means I’m sure about a lot of stuff I have said and written. So, I love Microbiology and would love to make it my strong-point in the coming months.

Pathology still remains a kind of mystery. I loved it when we were doing General Pathology. And I hated it when we were doing Systemic Pathology. It is vast, and this time I haven’t read much of Robbin’s (a total change from last time, when most of the portion had been read from that thick little green book). I didn’t end up getting a lot of marks last time although my paper had been the best of all the three we wrote. I want to see whether reading Harsh Mohan makes a difference in the marks we get. I am going to finish reading up Robbin’s by the prelims, but I need to know whether it is going to be for the sake of reading it, or whether it is going to help me in getting the marks that I’m currently after.

PSM (Preventive and Social Medicine) has been labeled the disaster my third year, before the year even starts with the kind of crap it dished out to me in this term. According to the schedule of MUHS, students are tested on PSM in II/II. A 3-hr theory paper (with 3 compulsory 8 mark questions!!) and a 20 mark practical. That theory paper turned out to be the only paper I have EVER given without studying ANYTHING! The standard textbook is Park’s and it one hell of a boring book to read. I didn’t manage to do anything the whole evening before the exam. And then, the morning of the paper I came to know that there are notes available in PSM. I only managed to get the notes 2 hours before the paper, and I also had to have lunch. So, I went for the paper having read NOTHING. It turned out to be a disaster really. I haven’t written such crappy answers in such beautiful handwriting ever before! The practical was no better. The lecturer who took my viva, realized early into it that I did not know one small thing. I don‘t think I’m going to be passing in the subject this time.

FMT was pretty ok. The Department didn’t even know we had a paper! We started ah hour and a half late, because of all the confusion. They distributed éclairs as a penalty for forgetting that they had to conduct an examination J

Basically, I’m finally done with everything. Not everything, actually. My family-planning term-end is left, which will be held on Saturday. But I am free as such. I missed out on enjoying the Wimbledon and the Football World Cup, as much as I would have in another time span. But, luckily, Rafa and the Spanish Football team, have ensured that I have watched it all throughout. Congrats Rafa !! It was such a fulfilling moment to watch you lift that trophy! And I gotta say to Tomas Berdych ( I watched him beat Roger and Novak Djokovic), you are so totally all over the place!! It was great to see you play in the final, and I do want you to keep playing the brand and level of tennis that you are. Your serve…..simply sensational!

And that Football team! Switzerland seems in a different universe. I so want you to win the World Cup now!! You beat Germany! I am so proud of them all!! I hope to witness you guys raising that Cup as high as possible on Sunday :-)

I’ve actually had a great week. Guess, having exams did pay its dividends in some ways:-)