Curtain Falls

It has finally happened!! My ICMR Project report is out, and it says -

Wait for it!

APPROVED!!!!!!!!


 I'm so relieved!! I have had so much trouble with this whole project idea this year, I can't actually believe my eyes which read that "Approved". Yes, everyone around me told me that it was a good topic, that Diabetes is a subject that no researcher can ignore, that the effort I had taken was for real and that the authorities would see that, that I deserved to get the approval.....but, my whole experience was one big roller-coaster....I never believed that I would touch solid ground, until I did for real. Yes, I have finally touched solid ground.
From the complications that arose from our Symposium Competition and the submission of the Research proposal clashing....to the missing of the date for the Ethics Committee Meeting...to the decision of almost giving up this project, irrespective of whether the ICMR allowed me to do it or not....to that provisional certificate that was given and then revoked (after I'd completed my study)....to having been called to present my topic before the Ethics Committee (something that has never happened with ICMR projects before)....to running around behind the new Head of the Ethics Committee to give me my approval letter....to having to buy the Lipid Profile Kit for my project....to having to make the numerous trips to the lab to get things moving...to having gotten my mom to college to collect the blood of my first two patients....to getting so nauseous out of worry that I did not eat for two whole days...to coming everyday to college compulsorily to get two (and any more being called 'bonus') patients of Diabetes everyday....to having trouble with the Statistics of the project....to waiting till the last minute (after my Prelims got over) to create a report out of whatever I'd managed to find....to that final horror of a day when things got unruly at home, and I still managed to send the whole report to ICMR.....yeah, it has been quite a journey.
I made mistakes along the way, I hated my life along the way too....I made life hell for all the people close to me, friends and family included. It was tough, but it was an experience...something that I shall never forget for the rest of my life. I know what it's like to conduct research, I know the pains people take to do something that can get them something more than just plain knowledge (the feeling of having done something great, found something new)....I understand why people fall in love with their papers and hate it when they get rejected from Journals they are sent to for publication. I landed at the other end of the scale...instead of falling in love, I hated it....I thought I could've come up with something grand, and I did not. Which hurt, yes it did. But, I think it is grand now. Out of the 1000s in the country who applied for this Short-Term Studentship, they selected around 200, and out of those 200, they approved my whole research. Yes, this is a good positive feeling.
Looking back, I probably don't want to miss the Ethics Committee meeting date. That is pretty much it. I wouldn't change a thing about my experience while doing this project. I met some really good patients...I was told many good things by a lot of patients....my 70 patients, who shared a part of their life with me deserve a big thank you. I learnt a lot about talking to you, being kind, appreciating the problem you have, trying to make things better for you...as I said in the assessment of my experience, I grew as a doctor, I learnt to be a doctor and a human being. I might not be very gentle during my internship, but I do know that I have a responsibility to treat every human as human, give importance to everything the patient has to say, and always be kind, no matter what. Yes, that was my biggest lesson.
It would've been such a bummer to not have got this approval...I'd have probably been chanting all sorts of negative thoughts, hating those 4 months, wanting to have followed my heart and not wasted time in my project. But, God has been there, and been there in style :-) Thank you so much Dear God. You have no idea how much this means to me!!
So overall, yes, I hated the year. I took on a lot of things apart from plain studying-
1. The Symposium on Islet Cell Transplantation
2. The ICMR Project
3. The Seminar on Hospital-Acquired Infections
4. The Paediatrics Quiz
5. The TB Quiz
6. The Medicine Quiz
7. The Asthma Quiz
8. The load of my Final Year studies
Phew. I think I've done decently well then.
Oh yes, the reason for that 'decently well'-
My Final Year results are out....I've gotten 72.33% :-)
No distinctions though...missed the one in Paediatrics by one mark :-p
I'm 4th in College. Which is sort of cool :-)...a let-down on last year (73%, Rank 2), but after looking at that list above, I think I've done better than I thought I would have.
Results were declared on 28th February. Since I was doing that BLS and ACLS course, I'd decided not to check my result. The tentative date was always 28th Feb, so that day, I was on tenterhooks all day long. You can imagine my delight when I got a text from a friend saying that they were not going to be declared on that day, but maybe the next day. I was on Cloud 9. I've been ranting about how I don't want this result, haven't I? It was an answer to all my prayers.
I was so happy about passing my BLS examination, I updated my FB status to "I can save lives now." Turns out people took that as my status response to the results having been declared. Oops. A few phone calls down the line, I had to delete my happiness over my BLS course from FB. Weird thing is, the moment I deleted it, I got another text saying, "Results declared." Now, you would obviously think there was still some confusion over my just-deleted status. Which is what I thought and replied also. Fate had decided t play a trick on my me and my jolly mood though. Results did get declared. Hmm.
I thought I'd just check out the college list to see whether I'd passed or failed. Seeing that "PASS" against my name gave me a sigh of relief. At least there was no further exam to take 6 months down the line. Again to soothe my nerves down a bit, I called up my school friend, talked for half an hour, then decided to check my marks.
There they were- 651/900. Was I happy? Umm. Was I sad? Umm. I was actually empty on emotion. I had now gotten the tag of Dr. to my name, and I was still feeling empty. That was strange. I didn't really care about anything. I knew I hadn't topped but that did not matter...I knew I hadn't come 2nd, but somehow that did not hurt or matter either. These marks just proved that I was done. Done with this jam-packed final year forever. That gave me a calm, a serenity that did not budge for a long time (now it has, because the thought of internship scares the hell out of me). It has been that way about my results this year. I don't care. As long as I pass, that is all that matters. I feel more satisfied about my Project and my Course. Maybe that sounds strange....but it sounds good to me. And it has put my mind in a state that has come to terms with these marks much faster than ever before.
Done...now I can only look upward from here. No going back. 

The Olympics - A Story

The London Olympics got a grand close, just like the wonderfully British Welcome they had received 17 days back. It is surprising how these Games got over so fast. They were to last for 17 days. How these 17 days raced past us, cannot be expressed in words! I guess my favourite part of the Opening Ceremony was Voldemort making his grand entry. As an avid Harry Potter fan, there is something in that guy that makes me love him for being a part of Harry’s world. This is what happens when a series that made the formative years of your childhood, comes to an end. You end up liking all the villains too, because they remind you of that wonderful story that filled you up with hope, courage and the effervescent feeling that you are not, and will never be, alone.

My second favourite moment was the sequence of the Queen entering the Ceremony. Having the knowledge that Royals have a code of behavior that cannot be shaken, I felt that it was really sporting of the Queen to agree to show the fun side of herself too J

My third favourite (and this is because it is my favourite in every Olympics) was the lighting of the Olympic Flame. There are so many ways to do it. Trust Danny Boyle to take the kinkiest, most beautiful way. The petals provided to each country came together to burn together, as if to signify the message of the Olympics in fire : Peace, Brotherhood and Togetherness. Thank You for that spectacle Mr. Boyle. If nothing else, this shall be remembered for generations to come.

I want to take this Opportunity to list down some athletes who struck a chord, who scripted history, who got those medals, whose smiles and happiness at winning, showed why the Olympics are so special.

At the top of the list :

ANDY MURRAY:

So it the usual practice for me to support Andy Murray when Rafa isn’t around. Andy has had the misfortune of playing in an era when there are three players (Rafa, Roger, Novak) better than him. Try as hard he can, he can’t beat them all. Umtimately, he ends up getting beaten by one of them any way. People (and these three too) say that Andy’s time will come. But, hey, time doesn’t wait for anyone. Andy’s chances of winning a Grand Slam seem to get slimmer by the day. A month back, I abandoned watching the Wimbledon Final between him and Roger because, after a breath-taking first set, he played a loser’s game and managed to lose a match that could’ve left him saying, “I won the Wimbledon. Now I can die in peace.” Instead, on that podium, he cried his heart out. Imagine my terror when he was set to play Novak in the Semi-final of the Olympics. I had relegated him to the bronze medal match. It was such a relieving surprise to read that he won that match in straight sets!!

But, then came the opponent for the Gold Medal. Roger Federer. Man, I couldn’t believe his luck. Federer had managed to get past Del Potro ( who I like for the simple reason that he won that US Open back in 2010, beating both Novak and Roger) in three sets, the third 19-17. That was not a result to get, especially when you support Del Potro. Any way, point is, this Final would be a repeat of the Wimbledon Final. I couldn’t see a different result. But, a different result is what Andy had in store. He played like a MANIAC. I can imagine how Einstein must’ve worked when he started to solve the problem that lead to E=MC*2. Andy got a Gold Medal instead. A fine gold medal at his own Olympics.. That day, Mr. Andy Murray, you just pushed yourself up by a 1000 steps. You can only go forward from here J Thank You J

USAIN BOLT:

A bolt of lightning. Frankly, I don’t watch much of Athletics. But, at the Olympics, that is my main attraction. And Mr. Usain Bolt comes and steals your breath away (and I mean just one, max two breaths, ‘coz he finishes his races in that much time!!) It is so difficult to defend your own titles. Especially, when they come in timings like 9.63 and 19.32 seconds. But, you did it. In style. Wow.

They can talk about Yohan Blake, Tyson Gay, Justin Gatlin, Asafa Powell all they want. You are Usain Bolt. And, you shall beat them any way. I actually stayed up to watch your 100m and 200m final. Just to watch you win. It was worth every minute of the staying J That’s saying something for races that, combined, took less than half a minute :-p

By the way, Volunteer kid Chris is a really lucky guy. He got your cap with a 2 minute conversation. What would I do to be in his place!!

MICHAEL PHELPS:

There is one and there shall always be one. Beijing is remembered for two things: The grand opening ceremony and Michael Phelps and his astonishing octet of medals.

Obviously, it was difficult this time. You wouldn’t be human to win Golds in all the six events you’d entered into. This time there were Silvers and a Bronze around your neck. Hey, different colours always look good J You became the most celebrated athlete in Olympic history. 22 bloody medals!! 22. 18 golds. They presented you with that trophy. That just isn’t enough. 22 medals!! Wow. You have inspired not one, but two or even three generations to take up swimming.

I feel so incredibly lucky to be born in an era where you have been at your best. Out-of-the-world stuff, and I was there to watch it!! Great stories for the next generations to come J

MARK ZONDERLAND:

I do not understand much of Men’s Gymnastics. Most of them do the same stuff. The only place I give them different marks, in their landing. But, even a novice like me, knew I was watching something spectacular when Mark Zonderland started his routine on the single bar. Gasps echoed all through the watching crowd. The crazy stuff he did, had people standing up, mouths open, eyes pouting out of their sockets. When he landed (perfect by the way), you didn’t even need scores to tell that he’d done it. He beat the German guy by a comfortable margin.

I don’t know whether you’ll be able to produce a near-perfect spectacle like that again, Mr. Zonderland. But, for that Gold Medal performance and your infectious smile, I shall look out for you next time. Thank You for that one-minute trip to Wonderland!!

DAVID RUDISHA:

One Man Army. In the real world, you do not lead a 800m race from the start and still manage to finish first, let alone break your own world record in the process. But then, Mr. Rudisha wasn’t running in the real world any way. He was running in the Olympics. He was running his own race. The first individual world record to be broken at the London Olympics, and there couldn’t be a better guy to do it. Hats off Sir. Hats off. You are a wonder!

SUSHIL KUMAR:

We had to wait for that last day to see this wonderful guy in action. I would seem very mean here, but I don’t see how Indian sportsmen can repeat their feats of glory every four years. In a country starved off medals, any athlete who brings home a medal is so hyped up by the media, he manages to disappear into oblivion in the next Games. It happened to Rajvardhan Rathore, it happened to Abhinav Bindra, and it happened to Vijender Singh. I saw it coming to Sushil Kumar too.

But that is what sets this guy apart. He managed to keep himself grounded, practiced hard, won important tournaments when it mattered and gave himself confidence and hope that he could win again. He said he would change the colour of his medal. That he did. With a lot of confidence. A Silver Medal to the guy who was made the Flag-Bearer of India in the Opening Ceremony. A deserving choice for that honour. Today, he is the only Indian to have two consecutive medals in the Olympics. I can’t think of anyone who deserves this piece of history more than Sushil Kumar. Proud to be an Indian J

MC MARY KOM:

If there were a few people I would bet on, for Gold medals, she would head that list. Her story to success is, in itself inspiring. Then, you see her. You see her confidence, her smile, her humility. You get inspired further. A married woman, mother of two kids, a woman whose husband gave up everything to see her succeed….a boxer who reached several heights of boxing throughout her career but who could never get a chance to enter Olympic glory. When she finally did, she was 29 and her weight category wasn’t included. She boxed her way to a Bronze (Nicole Adams is just too strong) medal. It was disappointing, but then, she got a Medal. That, she does deserve. Every single bit. We don’t know where the road will take you next, Mary Kom. But, wherever you go, every woman shall come to you and say, “Thank You.” You’ve given us what we all dearly need in this country. The confidence to fight.

PARUPALLI KASHYAP:

Admidst all the celebrations for Saina Nehwal, one person has been forgotten. This is the first Indian Male player to reach the badminton quarter-final in the Olympics. Wow. He wasn’t even tipped as a medal contender. He was just another of the Badminton squad sent to London. While all the limelight was placed on Nehwal, Jwala Gutta-Ashwini Ponappa and Gutta-Diju, Mr. Kashyap probably just practiced on his own, getting his best shots in order to stand a chance.

They say Luck and God favour the bold and hard-working. That is exactly what happened. Mr. Kashyap was nicknamed “Giant Killer” as he set about contriving the defeats of top-ranked players. This was true sports. No hye, just plain sweat, toil and determination. He had to bow out in the quarters to that Malaysian guy who won the Silver. During that time, he captured the imagination of millions (and the hearts of many girls, I’m sure. He’s pretty cute J). I hope you improve upon your performance in Rio. Would love to see a Bronze at least, against your name, Mr. Kashyap.

GAGAN NARANG:

The shocking news of Abhinav Bindra crashing out of qualification seemed hard to digest to the entire nation. I guess, the defending champion not being able to enter the final, made us forget that there was another, a stronger and more stable, Indian in the fray. And, in pretty good form too. That final was nerve –racking. You didn’t seem at your best. Other than Mary Kom, you were my bet for the Gold. You deserved it, after 2 previous heart-breaking Olympics. But, then, does the colour really matter? A medal is a medal. Its not like the Gold Medalist worked much harder than you did. A Podium finish. That’s what you wanted, and that’s what you got.

India’s first medal in these Olympics came to a guy, who really deserved it. That medal means more to us than a Gold. We llok forward to many more J

VIJAY KUMAR:

An Army-Subedar participated in the Olympics, and the nation didn’t even know. Then that Army-Subedar won the first Silver of these Olympics, ans suddenly the whole nation was singing praises of this guy, as if they had been sure of him all along. Welcome to India J

Vijay Kumar, you are the epitome of concentration and restraint. People would jump about and dance if they’d won silver. You looked back with a slight smile on your face and raise your hand. That’s it. Army really does discipline you completely.

That final was fantastic! You were in medal contention throughout. And, really, that Silver was what you deserved and no less. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. You came out of nowhere to capture the imagination of the nation. I hope you manage to maintain that. Thank you J      

OSCAR PISTORUS:

Around two years back, a double amputee dared to dream about competing with the able-bodied. Others would have been happy competing in the Para-Olympics.  Not Mr. Pistorus. He challenged, questioned, fought. Ultimately, he got what he wanted – a chance to compete in the London Olympics 2012. What is inspiring about this guy is his will and guts. He knows he has to work twice or maybe thrice as hard as the rest to match up to them. But, he won’t give up. That is what works for him.

Luck favours the brave and again it did here too. South Africa made it into the Final of the 4X100 relay although they couldn’t complete the heat, thanks to a push by some Kenyan Athlete. He pushed the second South-African down and he ended up with a dislocated shoulder. South Africa appealed and they got into the Final. Yes, they came 8^th. But, you know what, Oscar Pistorus ran like there was no future to his existence without this race. He ran the race of his life. And I saw the race of my life. You totally deserved to run in that final. Seeing you run, I know I have one of those inspiring moments I can look back upon when things aren’t looking up for me. Bravo!!

GAIR MARIAL:

He wanted to run but his country has no Olympic Committee. How could he manage to get here then? In the spirit of the Games, the IOA put forth their hand. And Marial ran under the Olympic flag. I waited 17 days to watch him run in that Men’s Marathon. When he crossed the finish line, he had created his own history. When you want to do something and you find yourself facing a load of obstacles, stop and think calmly. Usually, there is a way out. Marial proved it. So good to know that when you want something really bad, you manage to somehow figure everything out J

CHRIS HOY:

Yeah, you’d won a cupboard full of medals before. Yes, there were younger players out there. Yes, this is your last Olympics. But, yes, you had the determination to do it yet again (7^th medal I think, and 7^th gold). The oldest guy in the pack came away with the Gold. And then, not just Britain, the whole world raised a toast to a legend who ended things in style and how. You ROCK!!

SAINA NEHWAL:

It was disappointing to win the Bronze the way she did. But, I’m selfish and I’m glad she won it. This girl’s been one determined woman. She hasn’t gone the Sania Mirza way. Instead, she has managed to keep herself grounded and yearns to keep winning. Yeah, I think she deserved a lot more than a Bronze. But, it isn’t easy to scale that Chinese mountain. You can’t get it your way everytime. I’m happy for her but I wish that in Rio, she does manage to change the colour of that medal.

Yes. That’s the people who really made an impact on me this time. I enjoyed watching every bit of the Olympics. I can’t wait for Rio 2016…the only regret is that, well, everyone will be four years older, including me :-p

Spanish Armada : Long Live the Giants of The Beautiful Game

An Achiever's Strength

I'd love my readers to go through this article.

It reminded me of those two years - 11th and 12th grade. My seniors and their teachers had told me that these are your make-or-break years. You can either conjure up a formula to look at yourself with pride for the rest of your life, or you can make yet another burnt cake and regret it for the rest of life.
Unlike the author of that article, I do not come from a small city. Neither am I cash-strapped in any way. My parents were ready to do whatever it took, pay whatever was required, if it meant that I was going to succeed. Getting into a good college (mainly a Medical School, but Engg wasn't shown a closed door) was a priority, not for the economic security, but for the sense of pride and achievement that came along with it. I wanted to prove that we, Maryite's weren't just snobs without brains who shined in Std 10 and lost all steam in Std 12.
I shall be claiming falsely, if I say that I remember each and every moment of those 2 years. In fact, I have blocked out most of it. But, what I do remember is that, in those two years, I never lost focus and I tried the best I could to get through that CET.
I had a good foundation initially. Scoring a 96% in Std 10 and coming second in the city did a lot to improve my self-esteem. The hurdle was to keep going, not let this achievement get to me...to ensure that this was the first step and that I had to take many more. We decided that I would join a school, instead of a junior college. There would be less distraction, more discipline and less time to waste. My choice was Laxmanrao Apte Prashala. It was a complete contrast from my previous experience of St. Mary's School. In school, I was exposed to a Convent culture...a different method of thinking and doing things...looking at myself as an individual capable to doing things and having a certain amount of attitude about myself. In Junior college, the culture was the exact opposite. The students were very different...their mentality was even upto my level...they could do any amount of backstabbing to get ahead...the teachers preferred to support such things...they gave me s*** load of trouble including stuff like, not giving me books I'd paid for. It was a culture shock to say the least.
That worked to my advantage. I did not have to waste time making friends and carrying out my friendship duties. I did not have the distraction of hot guys walking around. There was just one goal- study. When I topped my 11th grade, I knew I had taken the right steps. This was just the beginning, however. My ultimate goal was to ensure I got into a reputed college (Med or Engg, it didn't really matter).
Std. 12 is an important year for every Indian Student. The system here is such that this year categorises you into a 'topper' or a 'duffer'. Now, of course, we have entrance exams that can be sat for multiple times. But, repeaters are never looked at in the same way as freshers. My 12th Std sucked. College-wise.
Suddenly, the so-called ok college of Std 11 became a nightmare with all the bitching, back-biting, low mentality of students and teachers alike, coming to the forefront. It was a s***hole. And that is exact word.
I think all this really gave me a chance to study on my own. My timetable is those days was so packed, I wonder when I even managed to sleep!! I had three classes and college. Every day. I don't know how I managed it. All I remember is watching the India Tour of Australia 2008-09 around that time. That was my solace. Cricket. It helped me forget everything :-)
My crash course was jam-packed. I had joined two crash courses with a Sunday Test Series at a third place. At times, my entire Sunday went in taking tests at each of these places. A few Sundays were devoted to the Entrance Examinations themselves. My mom says I used to sleep for around 4 hours. I had a class at 5:30am in the morning. From there, it was a long day, every single day of the week....
I'll say this frankly, I never thought about the result of my hard work. In fact, I didn't even think I was working hard enough. Today, looking back I know I worked my ass off. In fact, my Second Year PL hard work is nothing compared to what I did in that entire year. So, I deservedly got my reward. The CET paper almost magically decided to put forth tough Physics questions. I drew a lot of advantage from that. 'Coz the people who were actually good at Physics took more time than usual to solve their papers, and weren't even sure of their answers. I, on the other hand, knew my limits. I just skipped questions I didn't understand. I managed to read my paper twice, something that better-prepared people couldn't manage. Ultimately, I scored. Enough to get me into B.J. Medical College and follow my parents' footsteps.
An achiever's strength is that, whenever he or she looks back, there is always something to fall onto. That something is the evidence of determined, un-distracted, unwavering hard work. You don't just get lucky and succeed. For luck to smile on you, you need to show that you're worth it. You need to work hard enough to get that amount of luck. I know that if I hadn't solved those 20-30 physics sums daily, that paper would never have turned out to be tough for everyone. I'd still have managed my 37 marks out of 50, but everyone else would've got above 40. When I showed that I could put in the hard work to improve my physics, I got some help from the Powers That Be.
Today, 4 years down the line, when I look back, I don't regret anything. I can smile peacefully to myself. Those years are the golden years. They prepared me for what I want to achieve now. The feelings I went through on 14th June, 2008 are undescribable. But, now, at times when I get frustrated and want to just stop all that I'm doing, a walk down the memory lane to that day, pulls me up again. I know I have it me. I have proved things before. I can very well prove them now. That is an achiever. An achiever, who has been the product of those 2 years of determined, focussed and well-supported hard work :-)

The Start: Doctor or Engineer

OR

As I sat deciding to write in my blog, I had this wonderful idea of writing about my experiences now, in my quest to move forth in life, towards, as the title suggests, Success. My exam results are out and by my amazing luck, I am eligible for both courses in Medicine and Engineering. My mom was on top of the world with the news, but I was not, after about two days. Now I had to decide where I wanted to go, something that I'm terrible at doing. My parents gave me a month to decide what I wanted, but I seem to have made my decision quite quickly, and I feel good about it. Feeling good for me simply means that it the right thing to do. So this is going to be my journey through the procedure of taking admission into the field of medicine and hoping that I reach the level of achievement that I want to reach.
Currently, we are thinking of taking a trip to the medical colleges I might most likely have to choose from. To see the place and then decide whether I want to spend the next 4 yrs there. After all, I don't want to be secluded in an oh-so-ancient place. I'm glad my mom thinks that studying is not the only thing I'm gonna do now on. She's suddenly thinking about the same things that I am.....or maybe I've suddenly grown up!