My most important post ever

So, I've finally done it. I managed to get past the nightmare of my practicals, a true test of my knowledge, according to the people who really know.
It was different, this experience. For one, I realised what it os like to get really tense before an exam; so tense that I think I spoilt my own chances of answering well in there. This was before Surgery. The problem with that subject is, I love it so much, I get nervous knowing I may not do well enough, and obviously, when such thoughts haunt your mind, you don't end up doing all that well. A vicious cycle. I hate it. But, I haven't able to solve the mystery behind my love and fear for this subject. Looking back,  I know that my nervousness and fear that I didn't know anything only held me back, on what could have been a good viva. What more can you ask for? The residents conducting the exam are helping you; they stop just short of giving your viva for you (just partly, because they stand behind the examiner and mouth the answers they know). The examiners are really in no mood to fail you, unless you decide to do that yourself. And you pretty much know the cases, instruments, xrays, specimens beforehand. Despite all this, when I wasn't happy with my own answers, I knew I had only myself to blame. I did enough to pass, yes, but, this is a subject I love, and passing here was just NOT enough.
It has been that sort of a relationship with Surgery. The Love-Fear quotient is like a 50-50, and that really really sucks. But, I did learn a lesson, and decided I wouldn't panic so much for my next practical.
Medicine- that was that next practical. Now, the thing about Medicine is, I think I know, I know I know, but when it comes to using my head, I always go off on a tangent. And, I can't examine patients the right way, to save my own life! There's always something incomplete in my method. If that isn't the case, the fact that I'm not applying enough strength, always gets me few marks less. So, yeah, there are a few areas to be worried about, in medicine. But, by God's grace, I ended up getting Alcoholic Liver Disease cases as short and long cases. Oh man, by the end of the practical, my pleximeter had turned into a mass of aching skin and bones (thanks to all that percussing- this despite cutting my nail so short, it hurt there too). In fact, at the end, I couldn't understand whether it was the patient's percussion tenderness or my own finger groaning and saying it had had enough.
Medicine was ok. I say ok, because, if you end up getting the same topic on all your three cases, you should ideally ace your exam. Problem was, my first case was a disaster. The examiner was an internal one, and she is considered to be a little scary. I wasn't given a warning that the exam had started or anything. She just came up and asked, "Are you 49089?" "Yes, Ma'am" "Start your case. And keep that paper away." WHAT?! No bloody warning!! And how the hell was I supposed to remember the details. This woman has her own set of rules, so you have to remind yourself of each and every one of them, before you speak. Like, do not say "Cynosis" in a p/a case, because it doesn't have any significance. Caught by her out of nowhere, I went into panic mode, and next thing I know, I'm rattling off Cyanosis to her with loads of 'ahhhh' interrupting words and sentences. I couldn't wait to finish with that viva, and I guess she couldn't either. Bad start. Had I been in her position, I wouldn't have given myself anything more than a 50%. Maybe she did. Will only know in February. The other internal examiner was my Project guide. I was worried, because I hadn't gotten back to him regarding the project. But, both his vivas were good. He took my long case and although it started off well, they (internal and external examiners) were a little disappointed that I missed out on Spider Naevi in my patient. What is worse is that, I hadn't missed it, had checked loads of times, and had concluded that it WASN'T Spider Naevi. Talk about difference of opinion. But, the table viva made up for it, I hope. There was nothing that I didn't know about whatever they asked me. We parted with a smile (a wide one, by the way) and I kept praying, they'd consider my awesome table viva and give a me a few more marks for that long case. The xray and charts were taken by my scary internal, and obviously, I was still scared of her. It was ok upto the point of recognising the problem. Thereafter, it enough to say, I don't think I use my head much when it comes to differential diagnosis.
Paediatrics was easily the best practical. My table and short case Viva was good. It was full of questions that were first-timers (like, disadvantages of breast milk, reason why you use Ca gluconate in hyperkalemia and some others that I don't remember), and I answered to the best of my ability, which was quite a lot. My long case was Cerebral Palsy. How I hated my luck that morning. After praying and praying and praying some more (that I don't get Cerebral Palsy), I got that case. Lucky for me, I was the last person to get done with my viva, and he only asked me read my case and asked 2 questions after that. So although it felt incomplete and weird, at least it wasn't a disaster, thanks to the case.
Obs-Gynae was a story itself. The HoD was the internal examiner, and he got really angry when he found people with their books near the cases. He found my book in my friend's bag, and that got me included among the people he was going to punish. Punishment meant that our vivas were going to be held last. So throughout the day, I just had one thought in my head, "Will I pass?" It'll be so humiliating to have the topper of 2nd year and 3rd year to fail in final year because of something like this. But, he did take our vivas. He didn't ask any question though. The external examiner sitting with him was asking everything. And, overall, it turned out to be decent enough. I obviously wish the incident hadn't happened, but I guess it was all for the best. When our HoD was asking questions, he was asking tough ones,  making students feel like crap. But, when he was sitting quietly, things were better :-)
So, I'm done. For the first 2 days, it didn't seem real. I kept thinking I have to go back to studying in a few days. But, now, I'm getting used to the fact that I don't have to study for a month at least. Not that I'll be sitting idle. I have to decide my future, I have to catch up with old friends, I have to get my garden in order, I have to start preparing my brother for his exams....in all a lot.
Currently, I'm stationed at my grandmom's house, trying really hard to make up for all the time I didn't have to spend with my gradnparents in the past 4.5 years. I'll be leaving for Hyderabad tomorrow. Its the AIOS-2013 conference and I'll probably attend a day or two. My chief purpose is split between taking a tour of the LVP institute there, meeting up with friends, and enjoying the awesomeness of the Ophthalmology conference :-)
Bon voyage!!
   

Hunting for Clinical Examination

So, over the past few weeks I've been hunting for videos of Clinical Examination of various systems and joints and all, to help me gain some confidence with my own skills. Found a great blog called http://imedrxtv.blogspot.in...it has the MacCleod's Examination videos and also the Dr. Ghanshyam Vaidya clinics. Any one who needs either of them, can definitely have a look.
Today, I watch a youtube video of the Knee Examination. Thought I'd put it in here. its a big help to all those people like who have had to manage Ortho all by themselves, and need some help with the practical part.

New Year's New Gift

On 30th December, I attended the Installation Ceremony of Rotary Club NIBM of district 3131. My Mom was made President. It was one of those enlightening moments, you know. You see what all you can do with this preciuos little thing called Life. I haven't really got hang of the Rotary culture yet, but it was pretty clear to me that to get to that place, I'd have to do something meaningful with my life. Only then would I be in the position to give back to the Society, the Rotary way.
Meaningful started with doing well in my practicals, waiting for me pretty patiently in the suceeding week. It wasn't an easy ride getting there. As is the case in any college, we have log books called "journals". We are supposed to complete these journals and get them signed from our Head of Unit and Head of Department before we arrive for our University practicals. Unfortunately this year, our Ophthalmology journals were lagging behind on the HoD signature and she was in mood to give them to us that easily.
I do get her point. We went to her three days before the University examinations started. And, most of us had simply copied from our senior's journals. But, ultimately, every teacher wants her students to pass the examination and we thought the same applied to her.
To our utter misfortune, it did not. In fact, she did not seem to have an ounce of pity, let alone love, for any of us. The day before the examination, she declared she wasn't going to sign our journals. Since my batch (Batch F) had Ophthalmology practicals on the first day, we got ready for the worst...lambs for slaughter sorts...only worse, because despite everything, we were going to live and have to bear the consequences of our (and her) actions.
Imagine my utter horrifying disbelief on the day of the examination, when I heard that I was to be the first student to go to her and give my Viva. Was I scared? Yes. Not because I wouldn't be able answer anything, but because for the first ever time in a University Practical, I was carrying an incomplete journal. I should say I was lucky. I answered most of her questions and she didn't ask much about the journal. After hearing the conversations (if I may call them that - the students didn't really talk :-p) she had with the people after me, I was glad I got off easy...phew.. Ophthalmology was ok, actually...I could obviously have done better. But, thats just my love for the subject talking. In the past year, I just don't seem to have learnt the meaning of 'toning down'. I need to be the best at Ophthalmology, whatever may happen. I know it has hurt my chances of doing well, because I pushed myself too hard at that thought rather than doing it in action. It is over now, and finally, I can only pray that the examiner decides that I AM the best, and gives me marks to suit that statement.
With ENT, it was the opposite end of the pole. All I cared about, was passing in the subject. I think my problem with ENT has been a two-legged one. I don't like it and I don't understand it. There is no sane reason why that should be the case. I, personally, think it has to do with Genetics. When my Mom was pregnant with me, she was doing a one year residency in ENT. She couldn't stand it one bit. The thoughts got transferred to me at that time. So ultimately, I knew I hated the subject, even before I could reason out why. When I did reason out why, I found it had a lot to do with another subject I hated - Anatomy. ENT deals with the part of Anat I was never particularly good at - Head and Neck. With the 'brilliant' experience of Anatomy dealt with and over and done with, over two years ago, ENT dug out hidden skeletons and a lot of indecisiveness and insecurity.
I know that, when I write today, I have finished with ENT and I am surely passing in the subject. It doesn't make me happy. It makes me relieved. I have put a lot of work into pushing myself to the position where I can manage to be in a positive frame of mind with ENT. And that can only make place for relief. My practical was quite ok, actually. I wouldn't have thought of asking for a better practical. I can say this for sure, because when I was walking back from the department, I felt victorious for having gone through it and come out, all in one piece. With a stable mind :-)
Moving on to the third subject for the year - PSM. That practical was easily the best of the three. I know for sure that I have got my 20 marks of spots and biostats right. If not 20, at least 18 is garuanteed. And I had a good and a very good viva :-) The only crappy part of the practical was the time span - 8 am to 4:30 pm. There were seven of us left to complete the theory viva, when the examiners decided to go have lunch. It tested our patience. Every single bit. As one of my friends put it, "First they gave us a 40 day Prep leave only for the Practicals, then they gave us a 4 day Prep Leave only for PSM, and now they're giving us a 4 hr leave only for the Grand viva!!!" Ultimately, we all ended up chatting about the latest advertisements, the sitcoms, the stupidest jokes ever, all the PSM textbooks lying forgotten on the side. When the Examiners did come, all we wanted was to just finish off with the whole damn thing.
I think the New Year's gift this time, was good :-) there was definitely no let down in any way. And I am sure I shall be able to do well enough to remain mentally stable :-)
I have 4 days off now. 4 days before I go back the Year that is known to seep out every bit of energy left inside you. Vast subjects, no time, and things running like bullet trains. Thats what 2012 is going to be all about. Hopefully, by the year end, I shall have lived to re-tell the whole story with laugh :-) if not that, I shall still be telling the story any way :-) Happy New Year's to one and all!!
If this the year the world's going to end, lets end with a resounding happy bang!!! :-))  

Prelims: the Finish-line

Time to celebrate a bit :-)

2.5 weeks, and the ordeal is OVER! In the past two weeks, I've suffered and learnt real meanings of words like "Patience", "Frustration", "Insomnia", "Acidity" and most importantly, the mantra that "good things never always happen to good people", and that at times you never get what you really deserve.
The marks don't count- not when it comes to the satisfaction I've derived from every question I've answered. And at the same time, they really do count. If I end up getting less than I expect, I'm going to feel betrayed and again ascertain that this is one unfair world. If I more than I expect, I'm only going to put it down as my amazing luck. Please note, nowhere do I blame myself for the results. Typical student attitude. We just don't ever want to say, "We just din't study enough." Fact is, it isn't easy to do all the studying, and frankly, I can't bear to even think of how I've spent the last 2.5 weeks. I wish I could predict when I'm going to learn that doing my entire portion the night before the exam, is sheer foolishness! Yet, I can answer a part of that. It is only when I feel confident enough ( that is, after having done my portion at least three times over), that I can entertain such a thought. Currently, all I want to do is, take a few days ( hours out of days actually)off, and just relax. I want to do things that are going to make me want to get back to studying with enthusiasm, not with the resigning attitude that I so feel I am going develop soon.
So, how were my exams? Pretty ok. The papers were good. Except for a disaster that Micro 2 might turn out to be, and a catastrophe that Forensic is going to be ( I will eat a boiled eggplant if that doesn't turn out to be true!), the rest was definitely on the verge of good. My patience and the ability to stay hungry for 5 hours was tested big time during the Pathology practicals. I am not very good at staying hungry. During exams, no way. The tension and the atmosphere of the practical hall make a lethal combination. The moment my stomach gets a little empty, the brain starts to talk about putting in some HCl in there, and I suffer from vague symptoms of hypoglycemia and acidity. Patho was the height of it all. I was the 2nd last person to go for the viva, and finished at 5:30 pm. And I had had lunch at 11:45am.
Forensic (FMT) was another tester. This time, completely testing our ability to patiently wait....wait....wait...wait...wait...wait......and wait. I was there for the practical from 10 am in the morning to 5 pm in the evening. Had that 2nd viva not turned out to be awesome, I would've been ready to send a body in there for a post-mortem!!( kidding....I woud've just chucked the thoughts of FMT aside any way!!)
What have I learnt from my prelims? Firstly, I totally understand why a senior of mine, gave a post-exam party after her prelims had gotten over last year. The feeling CANNOT be described! You fly in the air, as high as you can go, feel the breeze blast past you and yet not hurt a single cell....suddenly swoop down and catch hold of all those small and special things you wanted to do for so long......and have a great night's sleep without worrying about those alarms that have been dissolving dreams within seconds, for the past 2 weeks.
And, I learnt that doing things on instinct does work to your advantage, making your paper go much better than it might have gone otherwise. I also learnt that everything has to end finally, so it is obviously going to a much better finish-line, if you stop losing your head and health over small things. :-)            

OVER!!!

And so they are. No more formalities left, and no more last minute prayers. My exams have officially ended and I am taking the deepest sigh of relief I can manage.

Practicals turned out to be ok. When I look at each of them separately, of course, I can easily point out the best and the worst. Because, I did have them. So, since I do have time right now, I'd like to reveal my best and worst. Here goes,

12th January, 2010:

FMT- We went and waited for almost an hour and half before something actually happened. And that something was quite an event. One of the peons told us that we'd been called in groups of 10. I got up ( I am amongst the first ten in our batch from r.nos. 145-174). Making a quiet and steady line, we went to the cold room where they conduct all the post-mortems. God! The only thoughts wandering in my otherwise empty mind, were," Crap, please don't tell me you are going to take the Viva here!!! Surrounded by dead decaying partially open bodies!!! I'll faint before you manage to finish your first question!"

The HOD was there, with a fresh body beside him. A 'mama' (that's what we call the ward boys in coll) was standing next to him, fully loaded with knives and scalpels, already having finished half the job of removing the viscera. This was the body, our HOD told us, of a criminal, killed on the previous evening. He had received three bullets, and the bullets were being looked for, in the viscera.

Frankly, this is what I'd expected to find when I came into medicine. A dead body, as fresh as live.....raw, red blood oozing out on every cut.....the viscera all shiny red with sickening yellow mucous attached at places....the bones looking all glistening yellow.....

One entire year and I finally saw what I was looking for. It was quite a sight! The criminal definitely looked like a criminal. I could imagine him, and the scene around him, when he was alive. He looked frightful even in that state!!

The HOD showed us one bullet which they had managed to find, and the organs it had managed to pierce. The liver looked bright red, and very innocent!! (the second batch that went in, came out telling us that the second bullet was found in the liver. It didn't remain innocent any more!)

The only thing that grossed me out more than the dead body, was the smell. We're used to formalin now (although it never fails to bring tears into my eyes:-( ). But, the smell here was the one associated with the slaughter-house, the cutting up of raw meat....the smell of dead rats...the usual smell we all run away from.

Thankfully I did not faint, and came out pretty impressed. The viva took place after that and I had a good time. I had our HOD questioning me and I answered everything. It was a satisfactory viva, and I think he understood that I knew my subject. He looked particularly excited when I mentioned 'Panchanama' and descrobed what a warrant was. Day 1 was successful amd satisfactory.

13th January, 2010:

Pharmacology- The first thing to mention here is that I fell ill. Again. I got another round of cold and cough, and fever in the evening. I think it is Pharmac. Even before the theory paper, I was in a state. But, this time was worse. I decided that it did not matter, how the practical went.

The spots were a little tough. But, I think I got the drugs right in the table-work. I'd expected to totally be lost when that came along. So, I was more than just satisfied. The pharmacy viva was good and simple. My label turned out to all correct, and I answered all the questions correctly. There was a lot of participation from Dr. Momin (my examiner), with his gestures of agreement. So, I'm assuming that to be a good sign. The grand viva was plain horrible. I was reminded of what Anatomy used to be last year. The difference was that this was worse, because instead of a PG student, I had in front of me, a Professor, who got the impression that I was at the other end of the intelligence scale. It hurt. Illness not withstanding, I did not deserve such a bad viva. But, it was over, and thats all I cared about.

14th January, 2010:

Microbiology- The one started with tough spots. They were pretty out of the world. But, I realised later on that I had got the Spore Stain correct, and I couldn't feel more proud of myself. if I could get that, I could definitely get above 5 in the spots. The Viva on culture media and biochemical tests could have been better. I knew the stuff she was asking, but I needed her to prompt a bit. But, the 'her' in question was Dr. Suvarna Joshi ma'am, who was smiling all through. Its always nice to have a teacher in front of you, who can put you completely at ease, and calm you down. And Dr. Joshi's smile does exactly that. So, despite knowing that I did not do as well I could have done, I came back saying that it had gone pretty ok. The Gram stain and Zeihl-Neelson stain were a little messy. A lot of pink and purple on the fingers. Also, it is difficult to look for bacilli in the ZN stain. Luckily, I showed that slide to Manoj sir, and he said wat I thought was the bacillus, was actually a bacillus! Wow, that's new! I'd neevr gotten the hang of ZN staining. The Gram stain was easy, and I got Gram +ve rods, which the teacher said, were correct.

Dr. Dohe ma'am took my grand viva. It revolved around the two stains only. She only asked me about differences between Bacillus and Clostridia, because they were the differential diagnosis of my result in the Gram stain. I liked the viva a lot. I answered almost everything. There was some question, to which my answer was,"I don't know", but I don't even remember what it was. She asked me if I was a localite, where I stayed and said I could go! I felt happy and at ease.

15th January, 2010 (today):

Pathology- If there ever were an average practical, this would be it. The spots were good, the slides were easy. The first viva (on the two slides I had to identify) was ok. I could answer some, could answer a question on Typhoid. The slides in question were, that of Acute Ulcerative Appendicitis and Tuberculoid Leprosy.

The grand viva was ok. She didn't ask me much, I answered a fair amount. Nothing that led to "I have no idea ma'am", but nothing that had me jumping up and down with the answer. So, thats what it was.......quiet.

Note: Pathology might have gone better if I hadn't ended up with my worst stage of laryngitis today. Now, I have even given exams in this dreadful voice!!

So, thats the description. Its pretty easy to decide the order of practicals according to my performance. So, here goes.....

1. FMT

2. Micro

3. Patho

4. Pharmac

Thats my order of liking. And my marks should be accordingly. I'll come to know within in a few days...

Till then, it is going to be two days of complete rest and silence. I can't even bear to hear my voice. And I desperately need to eat, sleep and live like a loser who has nothing to do in life :-)

Ok, now eyes are tired and the HCl in the stomach is screaming out aloud for food to acidify. Hail, 2010 again!!! May the start be a good one!!

College Life

I can't describe in words how great I feel attending college. Even coming back home and having to study for some hours on the trot doesn't seem all that uninviting. The thing about 2nd year is that, you can afford to give yourself time off. I don't bunk college at all. Its an 8 to 5 schedule. So, my day starts off with a mini breakfast before 8 am ( mini, because I am SLOW, and I never have enough time to finish it all), another mini after 9 am, clinical terms from 9:30 am ( umm, actually 9:45 am) to around 11:30 am, if we're lucky or unlucky as you might want to interpret. The point is, I've got a Unit where there are no patients, no OTs, and a boring OPD on every Wednesday. Our Chief-Resident ( CR) wants to teach us, unlike the Junior Residents ( JR) and the Lecturer, who aren't bothered. But, when you don't have cases, you can't help it. So mostly all those hours are free-time, when I do end up studying a bit. We then have a lecture at 12pm, lunch from 1 pm to 2 pm, and practicals from 2pm onwards.
The advantage of practicals is that we have batches of 100. So, mostly, there is absolutely no need to have lab-partners or groups of five according to roll nos., as we had it last year. So, I get more time with my group of friends not only during the lectures, but also during practicals. And friends are the food and water of college life. So, I'm just having so much fun!!!!
Its also the first time, when as a student I'm not under pressure. And the experience of 1st year helps. So, I'm being regular with the academic work, and enjoying myself. It is fulfilling to sleep every night around 11, kmowing that you have done yourself some good. And being around People like Shreya and Neha ( the two up-to-date friends I'm close to) gives me the incentive to work everyday to ensure I keep up with them.
Celebrations of my birthday ( 14th sep) were the best I've had. My group of friends ( 5 out of 8) went shopping on the 12th (Saturday), to buy me a top. They had quite a task at hand, because I'm terribly thin, and the smallest of tops hang loosely on me. But they did it!!! They got me a black and white top, with balloon frills on the sleeves ( love that!!), which fitted me perfectly. But, that wasn't the surprise. I didn't go for my posting so I came around 11:30 am to college. Neha sent me a very innocent message telling me to get my Microbiology journal for her. Incidently, it was in my locker at college. So the first thing I did was go and open my locker. And I found a beautifully wrapped gift on top of all my books waiting for me there. It was a yellow coffee mug. I was so touched!! They know my locker code, but I hadn't expected something like this!! Of course, I called them immediately, and their problem of having to think up of a way to get me to open my locker was solved. ( Neha didn't know the journal was in the locker!) This has been the best birthday ever. It'll be two weeks on Monday, so I just want to thank all of them for being so sweet!!
There you go! When you have a perfect friend circle, everything just settles down. Of course, in Medicine, studying is an integral part of settling down. And, surprisingly, I'm doing well in both!!

Examinations - The Chapter

I've tried my level best to try and describe Exam Time in a Medical College....And failed....MISERABLY. Mostly because I didn't have the time to write all that I felt. So I thought, I'd try right now....only a little differently. Through chunks out of my Diary which would describe what I went through them.

* Dates to remember:

26th May, 2009 - Anatomy paper 1

27th May, 2009 - Anatomy paper 2

29th May, 2009 - Physiology paper 1

30th May, 2009 - Physiology paper 2

1st June, 2009 - Biochemistry paper 1

2nd June, 2009 - Biochemistry paper 2

30th June, 2009 - Anatomy Practical

2nd July, 2009 - Physiology Practical

5th July, 2009 - Biochemistry Practical

Excerpts from my Diary:

8/5/2009:

" Well, things aren't going all that well. I just CAN'T seem to FINISH!! I was supposed to end a 1st revision on Sunday. And its just not happening! I'm gonna push to Tuesday and hope I can still manage 3 revisions. But, you know me, Jili. So it all looks a little bleak."

11/5/2009:

" Managed a fair bit of Central Nervous System ( Physiology) and I'm actually on top of the world!! Its funny, how small things just make me smile like anything!!! Things are a little tough, but I'm, well not enjoying, but keeping the humour intact. After all, ur spirits need to be up in the high sky to make it through all this, right?"

19/5/2009:

" Alright, I'm a little worked up here. I knew I'd said I'm not going to take tension, but, wen you are way behind a schedule you've had to change twice to make sure you manage stuff once at least, you are in murky waters there. And, can you believe it, its Physiology that's getting me worked up. Not 'coz, I haven't done it once. Its because, I haven't done it twice!! Anatomy, I have 5 days. I can move the heaven of Anat on earth if I have to. But Physio's getting unnerving here. Ok, girl, cool down. Deep breaths. Remember that weirdly dark sky that you have neen seeing at 2:30 and 3:00 in the morning for the last few days. And smile. They're all there to sail you through. You are gonna pass. I promise."

Well, I really did have it coming to me. Especially since I couldn't move the heaven of Anat on earth in those last five days. But, I guess that happens to everyone. The papers were much better than I thought they might be. And considering that I was pretty much on the verge of puking and fainting just before my Anat papers, I'm glad, I came out with a smile saying " Its over!!" At that time, I knew I'd done well, because I wrote everything that I could remember. Looking back, I'm not so sure. But, its Medicine and this stuff does happen. Physiology and Biochemistry were good too, although the last paper ( Bchem II) was definitely the worst of the five. Point is, you can't expect to have six smashing papers. In fact, we'd been warned that either paper I or paper II is tough. So, since the paper Is went well, there was always the fear that the paper IIs would be disasterous. So, I'm happy that my worst paper was the last, and I didn't even have the energy to ponder much on it.

Excerpt from my entry on 3/6/2009:

" Exam's reduced all the weight I put on. It has worn me down; mentally, physically, inevery way possible. All those 2-3 o'clock nights the week preceeding and all the 40hour sleeps in the past week.... But, its over!! And for the pracs, its not going to be like this. So, I'm dead pleased."

Practicals was a whole different ball game, as I managed to realise, a triffle late if I may be permitted to say. It included our journals ( to be learnt cover to cover) and the ENTIRE portion for the grand viva. So, I got worried sick about Anatomy again. And it was pretty bad too. We had revision practicals and they were definitely better than I thought they might go. But, its me, and I always seem to believe that I am the worst BJ can get, at Anat. Its not true, but its something that has stuck on, despite having decent practicals. So, I'm just relieved that its all over, and praying hard that I don't have to do it again. Physiology and Biochemistry practicals were good too. Biochemistry actually qualified for " Good", in the real sense of the word. They were not exciting, nothing out of the ordinary. Just simple, quiet practicals. It is another matter that we were all absolutely impatient to get over with it all and say " Finally, its OVER!"

So, I'm going to say: The last four months have been the toughest and I definitely do NOT want a re-run of them in the years to come. I've learnt my lesson and its time I start studying from day one....Not as seriously as " I've got exams tomorrow" , but serious enough to prevent blotchy entries in my diary saying " I've got exams tomorrow". We're told that first year is the toughest. I've just put a bit of it behind me. And wait for my results to make sure that all of it is behind me.

Till then, I've decided to catch up on sleep, books and 'time-pass' that I've sorely missed doing in the past few months. They have really shaped my life, and I find it hard to believe that I finally have free time!! So, I'm lazying around. And doing it well. Friends, family and books.....and a new " Learn to Drive A Car".....I've got almost nothing on my plate (compared to the past months)..... and am making the most out of it.

A Week In Winter

The past week has been just fine. I've finally opened my eyes, and am studying. Regularly. This in itself is an improvement. So I'm pretty happy with myself and the way I've taken things. It eats into my sleep, but I guess, the final outcome should be worth it.
From this week onwards, we have dissection from 11 to 1 in the morning and pracs from 3 to 5 in the afternoon. It isn't a pleasant event to look forward to. Imagine, having to eat your lunch, after finishing dissection. And that means, our break will be an hour only. Usually, if the practicals get over early, we get a longer break. Thats not going to be the case now. So, all that reading up Anatomy in the break and stuff will stop, and we'll be a little less prepared for it all.
It isn't as bad as it sounds. There are things to look forward to. When our practicals get over earlier, we'll be going home early. It won't make much of a difference for me, as such. Most of the times, I wait for one of my parents to pick me up, so I guess, I'll just hang out in the library.
We've started with the examination of the eye in the physiology practicals. It's interesting, and much better than the Examination of abdomen, where, there is really no observation as such. You can only feel the organs, when they are enlarged. You can only hear the vibration when there is fluid in the peritonneal cavity. You can only see the tonsils in the oral examination, when they are enlarged. We had " Normal" written in every column of examination in our journals.
We have a long weekend. Really, looking forward to three days at home.

Exam Time - 2

We're officially half way through the terms now. We had our third and final theory paper today. It wasn't as good I wanted it to be. But, I've learnt to make up lines and lines of absolutely meaningful bullshit in these three papers, and that counts for something. Today was no different. There were questions I could have answered in one line, but because they were for 4 marks, I had to fill up the page with serious crap!! Guess, if any of my teachers come across this entry they will be nodding their heads off in agreement. Sorry guys, sorry having to make you go through the torture of reading some of my answers, but please know that if it hadn't been for the marks, I wouldn't have bothered!
Tomorrow starts the second innings of our term-match: the practicals. We have biochem tomorrow, and on the eve of such a practical, my friends and I are battling the big questions. " Are the journals allowed for the Quantitative analysis? Or do we mug up our entire journal?" Well, its a funny life during exam time, really. I've just finished with about 6 experiments, and am pretty sure I don't exactly remember which principle stands for which experiment. But, we've got about three hours in hand. So I'm hoping to be successful at mugging. And hoping my head off that the journals are allowed.
Am I scared of the viva? Well, not really. And thats not because I know my subject very well. I have become accustomed to really bad areas of experience. Tomorrow might just be one of those. So who cares! I'm looking at the university examination as my goal. So if things go terribly wrong tomorrow, I've made up my mind not to take it to heart.
Guess, that about explains my attitude. Looking forward to tomorrow in ways........

4 Days For The Seminar

I know it sounds strange, but I'm more worried about the seminar than my abdomen submission, which happens to be on the same day. But I guess, when I take something really seriously, I do get worked up.
The presentation has turned out beautifully. Its actually what I wanted it to be, when I gave my name for the seminar. All thanks to my Mom, who's converted my average presentation into a delight to read, watch and teach. I'll never say this to her, but she's actually done something I can never thank her for enough. She's given yet another instance to say," You're the GREATEST Mom in the world!" Thanks a ton! I know how much work she has, and yet she can come up with time to sit and turn my presentation into what I wanted it to be. And look at me, after all the 2 o'clock nights that I put in, I came up with something that did need fine tuning. Any way, at least its done, and I'm sure it won't bore people to death.
We had revision of all the microscopic physiology pracs today. I just couldn't bring myself to prick me, and when i did, well, I simply had to do it all again. Its so wierd. Only on sunday was I thinking of how I'd managed to prick myself months back, when now, I couldn't even think of putting a pin on my skin. And hey presto!, the entire package just came up!! Well, as happens every time, my ring finger is blue-black again, and pains at a slight touch. And I'm pretty disgusted with myself and the teachers. Will definitely be glad when all this gets over.