Kiss My A**, You Jerks!

There is a limit to tolerance. That is what I used to believe. Creating a symposium and trying to get it to people's attention in college, has made me believe otherwise. There is no limit to tolerance. In fact, with every new interaction with the other group and their phonies, I develop a new, higher limit to tolerance.
This so-called 'battle' has been on for a long time - ever since our college had two groups participating in a Symposium Competition, held at a local college here. That event had a rule - one team per college. So ultimately, it boiled down to a face-off between the two presentations prepared by us and the other group. They were chosen. When we watched their presentation, we realised that there were lots of things we could have done with our presentation. They were the better group.
The second time such a competition came up, initially there was going to be a screening round held at the host college. However, that was not to be, and we ended up having an elimination round here. As we had expected, they won again. This time, the marks showed it all. Our presentation was appreciated by every single person sitting in the audience- it was research-based, it was methodical and it was with the flow. Their presentation was filled with information and wasn't even close to research. However, the marks  they got were plenty. Reason? Favouritism. You see, there is a girl. There is also a teacher who almost idolises her. In fact, the girl is an absolute bitch. But, when the teacher is involved, her bitchy quality disappears. After all, she's watched this girl grow up...obviously, there isn't a single flaw in the girl.
This teacher gave them 8-9 marks more than she gave us. This was when the other judge, gave them just 2 marks more than us in the whole total. The incident left me wounded. I love what my team has come up with. We had improved on our original presentation to such an extent, it was unrecognisable. It wouldn't be wrong to say that I was in love with my presentation. I did not want to face this crappy side of college again. Why does the world need to be so unfair??
Today, the long-drawn decision to present our symposia in college, finally ended. Both our groups were to present our work today. And what does that great teacher (who chaired the session, by the way) do? She says, "Lets keep that awesome presentation for the last and keep that other crappy one for first. That way, the audience will be kept captivated in the end." Yes, she said that. I'm friendly with one of the other teachers, who told me so.
There is simply no reason why anyone should be so partial. Every student should be equal before a teacher. However, life in college has taught me to learn otherwise. I'm sick and tired of all this hypocrisy. It is right there, stark white, standing right in front of your eyes. There is nothing you can do about it. I'm one of those who want to get into people's good books by my work, and not by sweet talk. There doesn't seem to be any market for that though.
Am I upset? I've gone way past that, you know. As fulfilling as the process of making the presentation has been, the stuff happening around it has left me with nothing but anger. After a certain point of time, that anger just turns into smoke. There is no use having so much anger stuffed up inside yourself. Instead, you should simply look ahead and go do better things.
So, kiss my a**, you jerks. Go do your thing. I know, for a fact, and with lots of evidence to support it, I do better things than you, and I get better results than you. Nobody is going to tell me in front of 100 people on a big stage, that I'm not even going to be considered in the competition, because what I have presented isn't even my own research. They are going to tell you that. And you know what guys? At that time, I shall have a small smile on my face, because I shall know that the world outside of college doesn't bow down to your rules.
P.S. Our presentation today was great :-)) I love my team especially for putting up with my short temper and not-so-easy-to-get-along-with behaviour during the Symposium practice sessions:-) You rock guys!!

Good Job!!

I won the TB Quiz held on account of World Tuberculosis Day (24th March)!! I'd paired up with a friend of mine and we won!! I got my first trophy from BJ Medical College :-) We topped the elimination round and then won by a comfortable 20 points :-) Our score was 65 and the team, that came 2nd, got 45. I felt so freaking AWESOME!!
I'd been telling myself I should've studied a little more. That thought became even more loud when I saw the number of teams participating. You may want to call me a little dumb here, but I really believe that there a few people who are better off than I am, when it comes to MCQs and one line answers. Fact is, I really believe that whatever I have scored academically, has been on the basis of my neat paper- writing and diagrams. I don't figure much when it comes to odd things you need to know for Quizzes. So, my friend and I saw the people who'd arrived and we told ourselves that we didn't really have a chance. We were going to do this for the heck of it.
The people who know me, will understand when I say, I can't go unprepared for anything where there is supposed to be a competition. So, I did read up Microbiology and PSM, but it was nowhere close to what I'd expected myself to manage in the past week. We were prepared to watch the other teams take centre-stage. Going through the elimination paper, I knew we stood a chance. But, you can never hope for too much. We knew we'd made mistakes, especially after the answers were discussed. It was, therefore, a major surprise to hear that we had topped the Elimination :-)) I was delighted because that meant I got a certificate (I have an obsession for them...they are going to help me in the future, strengthen my CV, so I am obsessed with them).
The Quiz rounds were pretty ok. We were team C, and unfortunately, we had a lot of statistical questions regarding TB. I can proudly say though, my logic and my love Micro and Patho, got us through. I could answer a lot of questions. That was very comforting :-)
The best part was yet to come though. The rapid fire round has always gotten me a little nervous. It is a make or break round in a quiz. This time, however, it was a Make round for us. We answered the maximum number of questions correctly (5/10), compared to the rest of the teams, and we won!! After the announcement of the scores, they brought out trophies!! Now that was the best part. I had won a trophy! Since I'm a big sports fan, winning a trophy is like the ultimate winning for me. I have grown up watching the Pontings and Nadals lift those trophies...I've always wished I could do the same. This time, I've gotten the opportunity :-)) Yay!!
I just have to take this moment and say, "I ROCK!!" Things have been going well. Our Islet Cell Transplantation Symposium will be on Saturday. As much as I love what we have done, I'm just concerned about the certificate. It is a busy week... We also have a Surgery Term-end on Saturday. Add on the Medicine posting...We're given threats of been thrown back into the Unit we were supposed to be posted in, initially, if we don't do serious studying. Really!! Times have changed..It's not like we aren't interested. Sometimes, you gotta understand that although there is interest, there isn't enough material. Tomorrow, possibly, Kadam Sir would be taking a clinic. I can only cross my fingers and hope it goes well...
Apart for studying, we also have to deal with ego issues of the concerned teachers. The life of a Medical Student is worth making a film on. There is everything...it almost prepares you for everything you may have to deal with later in life - buttering people up, saving people's lives, running after people for ages to get your work done, taking the hard way, taking a shortcut, deal with heartaches and excessive happiness...everything...phew!! I'll just go back to reminiscing that wonderful Quiz on Monday...:-))

A Test in Medicine and a Test in English

This Medicine posting hasn't yet shown its true colours. I still haven't been able to decide whether being posted in the Kadam Unit is a boon or a curse. We have finished with one week of posting now. In this past one week, we have managed to take cases related to all four systems - CVS, RS, CNS, GIT. I think the CVS case was well-taken. We managed to finish the entire case that day. An achievement, actually. I presented the RS case to Kadam Sir yesterday. I was pretty freaked out about the whole thing, but the Indian trait of impunctuality helped calm my nerves down. It got too much in the end, because I had to wait a whole 2 hours before he came. However, Kadam Sir is Kadam Sir. His teaching is just way too awesome to crib much about :-) And, it is a real morale booster to be able to present a case to him and not have to hear him criticise you.
The patient I had, was very testing. But, the moment I put myself into his shoes, I could understand why. A 60 year old sick gentleman doesn't want people coming and poking him all the time. Especially after 2 weeks of having been through the same thing. I'm sorry sir for all the trouble I gave you. I do hope I do good for the pains that you and I both endured during past two days.
The whole case isn't complete yet. We only finished till General Examination of the patient. The moment Kadam Sir said,"I think we'll stop now. We'll continue on tuesday", I was a little disappointed. Keeping the patient in SGH till Tuesday is going to be quite a task. He will again have to be convinced to come to another ward, have people examine him...I'm already feeling sorry for both of us.
Yesterday was Gudi Padva, the beginning of the New Year according to the Hindu Calendar. I had a good day actually. The case went fine. I mananged to go and meet my grandparents for a few hours. It is such a beautiful feeling to have them pamper you, even for just those few hours. You can just forget that you've grown up, and go back to those sweet memories of childhood:-)
My TOEFL score came yesterday. I don't think I'd written in my previous posts that I was going to take the Test. I did. I want to keep my options open for my USMLE preparation. Taking the TOEFL and applying for Electives is the first step. My score is 118/120. Isn't that AWESOME?? I know there's no use flaunting my score, but I feel incredibly proud of myself. I'd given myself 3 weeks to study. I only managed like a week of studying. But, that week, being me, I studied only for the TOEFL. People say there's no need to really study for it. I believe, though, that you need to prepare for everything properly. It doesn't matter whether the test is small or big. I couldn't prepare as much as I would have liked to. So that score is a pleasant surprise.
The score means that my school did a good job of teaching me English. The score also indicates that I'm not as pathetic in the language as I think I am. Just because I don't write as much as I used to, in school, I haven't lost my flair completely. It is a boost of confidence really. I am really proud of my English skills. In past few years, since I joined Med School, I haven't been able to use my skills as much as I want to. That made me feel really inadequate, you know. After all, language is my strength.
The TOEFL has proved that I'm not as bad as I think :-) My Mom was on top of the world. Simply, because I told her 2 days before the Test, that I was taking the test, and she didn't really know whether I'd even studied properly or not. I love doing such things. Seeing that smile on my parents' faces, gives me satisfaction and a great night's sleep. What else can a Daughter want??:-)

Evolution

Every individual goes through phases of evolution. Be it an animal or human, evolution happens. It might as well be called a synonym to 'Life'.
Evolution is physical (change in the structure of the body), physiological (change in the functions of the many systems inside our body) and mental (change in the thinking). Rather than calling it a 'change', I would like to call it "transformation". This process is so beautiful. Last year, when I visited Pench, I spent most of my time observing the Langoors there. Those little babies would demonstrate newer and more refined antics every day. It enthralled me no end. One day, they would be clinging to their mothers, and the second day, they would try to climb up trees. On the third and the fourth days, I would be witness to their sheer determination to climb that tough bark. On Day 5, they would show off their newly acquired skill, with the happiness flowing through each cell of their bodies :-)
As I grow up, I feel the transformation inside of me. There has obviously been a physical and physiological one. These are aspects I can't control and I don't want to. It is my mental transformation that has caught my attention in last couple of years.
I am not the most outgoing person there is. In fact, in all my answers to the many questions in Personality tests, I reek of introversion and shyness. I don't like being like that. I have a really dynamic Mother. It is an amazing sight to see her in her element. You never think she can do anything wrong, when she's there, in that element. I have always wanted to be like that. However, the perfect daughter that I am, I have inherited the perfect combination of both my parents' attributes - my Father's shyness and the ability to talk to people I know for a LONG time; and my Mother's desire to be outgoing and managing a bit of it, and her love for presentation and stage.
Over the past few years, I've seen myself open up a little and participate more in things happening around me in college. Even as an audience, I have become more receptive and critical, analysing what has been told to me. I feel proud of myself  for this transformation. I don't feel all that nervous about coming to the front. I know I have a right to do what I want and to ask questions if I need to.
I can feel the evolution inside of me. Knowing the kind of a person I was, I know I shall never reach that other end of the spectrum. However, the slight progress I have made, makes me hopeful that this Evolution is here to stay :-)