Micro, I Love You!!

I do, I do, I do.....Never thought I'd be saying this, when I initially started with second year. I thought Pharmac was going to be my cup of tea. Guess, I'm not all that different from the rest of the crowd after all.
So, our Micro Quiz eliminations were held on Saturday. I can't say that I studied a lot, or that I spent sleepless nights, studying up a storm, but I did as much as I could. And I think I did pretty well in the Eliminations. I did not get chosen for the final team of two, but I came third. By one mark. So, I'm a back up for the team. I'm still going to attend the extra lectures, because I really feel that I can DO Microbiology, and that something just clicks really well. So I want to learn it, another way, and another way, and a fourth way is there is one.
This is something that clicked me after my Micro paper during the terminals. It had gone pretty well, especially the MCQs. So, I just like doing Micro. And, of course, I can't imagine myself doing Pharmac or Patho for days together, but I can imagine that happening with Micro. And I loved solving the MCQs on Friday, as a preparation for the elims. It was so much of fun!!! Plus, the teacher conducting the elims, told me, "Good Performance!". Now when that happens in a subject, you are bound to like a wee bit more than normal, rite? :-)
So, I'm doing Parasitology now. I love the new book feel. I'm doing it from Arora and Arora. After a year of reading the same old textbooks, I literally pounced on this one. I like it. It is said to be the toughest part of Microbiology, but, I'm on a high right now, and I really want to finish a major chunk of the syllabus in Parasito.
Do I regret not being a part of the team? I do. Especially when it was a matter of one mark. But, the responsibility now is less, and I can enjoy and study, both. Hell, I really did not want to meet my uncle who's coming down from the USA with the kids, regretting every moment I spend with them, because it was cutting into my study time. So, I can meet him with a clear conscience, and also study as much as I want to, at the same time. And I can attend the extra lectures. There isn't a ban on them. So, somehow, the regret or sadness or whatever you may want to call it, is a very small part of all the emotions I felt at that time, or those that I feel even now. I guess, I'm really happy that I didn't do very badly, to crash all my hopes of doing well in Micro down to the very depth of the Earth.
And my next target is: Distinction in Microbiology. And by more than just ONE mark!!!!!

Why does it keep following me???

I haven't written about this before. There is a crappy book called 'JOURNAL' which we are supposed to record our cases in, in every clinical posting. They have a certain number of cases to be seen in every term, which we have to record. Until the Gynaec term started, we didn't really bother about writing journals. But, the Naik Unit ensured that we wrote the entire semester work and get it all signed. As my luck would have, I couldn't get all my stuff signed in time, and hence, due to consistent trailing behind him, the Chief-Resident (CR), knew me pretty well. He even told the HOU that I did not have my journal signed but that I was a very good student. Later on, when he did check my journal, he told me that the HOU, Dr. Naik, was very happy with me. She was delighted that I had done so well, and that I knew my Gynaec stuff pretty well. I was obviously shocked. She had asked me really simple stuff, as I have written before in the entry dated......I was also delighted that after spending days screaming, "Gynaec!!!SOS!!!!!!!!!!!", I actually knew enough to impress a teacher!

Two months down the line, I was again haunting the corridors of Gynaec, as we began our Family-Planning posting. Little did I know that another shocker of sorts awaited me here. My Posting began on June 1st, in the middle of our college holidays. There were hardly any people attending the posting, 'coz every hostelite had run home. We were 5 in number, for the first few days. During that time, the Senior-Resident (SR) took our lectures. I used to answer quite a bit. Hell, I knew stuff so why not let them know that I do. So, the SR took a fancy to me. She'd ask me questions when the others couldn't answer and all that sort of a thing. I did not go for the MTP OPD one day. The next day she said that she hadn't felt like teaching when she saw that I wasn't there. Oh God, why Gynaec!!! Later, during the posting, we were in the Labour Room, and she even made me hold the placenta, as she taught us about the parts and features. I, kinda, became a favourite. Man!

We finished with our Family-Planning term-end today. Finally! It wasn't held before the exams because that way, we wouldn't have attended all the days till the 30th (exams were from 28th June-8th July). It got postponed from 10th July ( the initially decided date) to today. And it turned out to be pretty good. Dr. Bhalerao (the HOU this time), asked me about everything that I knew about Oral Contraceptive Pills. And I was able to answer a lot of his questions. It turned out to be pretty good, especially after the heavy weight of the 'favourite' tag on me. Thankfully that SR wasn't there, and Dr. Bhalerao doesn't know me. He did not say that I needed to read up a lot more or that my basics weren't clear. Which is a good sign.

I just so don't want to do Gynaec!!! I wish I could have gotten so much of appreciation and support in some other term uptil now. But, I end up having the feeling that I don't like Gynaec, and yet, I know it best!!        

Lost....

So the World Cup reached its finish line in style, and splendor and in the very spirit of it has been since the start - a perfect all-nation party. I LOVED the closing ceremony...especially when the flags came up, with people walking along unveiling them...seeing them together makes me believe that unity can exist in this world, and it so strange that unity and brotherhood can only be associated with sports and nothing else. Frankly, I would never dream of watching so much of enthusiasm, and support in any other field. Kudos to the world of Sports for keeping the meaning of these words alive, despite the encroachment that Politics has made.
The final could not have been more different from the prior games. The tension and nerves were visible, as the game was more of trying to simply get a goal rather than making one. It wasn't the best game Spain has played, and definitely isn't too high on the list of great games for Holland either. Yet, I guess, Casillas' tears and the bright  smiles on the faces of the Spanish players made up for everything that the game was not. In the past two years, Spain has risen as a great sporting nation, with successes in Football, Tennis (I was so delighted to see Rafa's picture with Casillas and the Trophy...it made my day!!!), Cycling and Golf. It is uplifting to see the united celebrations amongst the people in every success.
The only thing I am disappointed about is that, this is the End. There isn't anything coming up in the world of sports for about a month, and I feel lost! I'd become so used to watching the French Open, then the World Cup and Wimbledon, interrupted by cricket here and there; I always had something to watch. Now, there isn't anything worth watching, and frankly, there's no use of turning the television on. So I'm totally LOST...
Happens a lot of times, but this year, with the World Cup, I didn't feel it would be that much...on the contrary it is much more, guess it is because the festival reached a high point and just ended...

The journey called the World Cup

The only reason I supported Spain during the Euro 2008 was because there were a lot of Liverpool players in the squad. And Bingo!! They won!
The World Cup is a different story. The team started off on the worst foot any one could have possibly imagined. 0-1 defeat to Switzerland wasn't a part of the script. But, they have bounced back, and today, on July 11th, 2010, they are on the brink of making History. Frankly, it isn't easy to watch a team win by margins like 1-0, in fact, games like that get boring. But, the game that Spain plays is simply weaving magic. one can just watch them pass the ball, keep the possession, and thread through the opposition's defence, almost effortlessly. It is so beautiful! Their game isn't about the goal-scoring or the physical aspect of football. It's about wearing the opposition down, moving through them, tapping the ball around. It feels like music; every game, a new tune, so pleasant to to the eyes, a treat to watch....the rhythm, the sync, everything, so different, so new. The margin of victory never tells it, but every game is a musical to look out for.
The Armada has grown in confidence. To beat teams like Germany, you have to have faith in your abilities to score, faith in your ability to nudge the Jabulani around.
I don't really understand the intricacies of the game. To me, football was always a rough, muddy and u-push-me-I-push-you game. Watching this team, I have witnessed something totally different. Something so new, it makes the game look as beautiful as a match of tennis.
On the other hand, there stand the Dutch. A very different technique, yet so similar. Their game is so much more physical, involving getting the ball, rather than keeping it....their techniques have flourished too....and they have grown more confident than ever. Beating in-form teams like Brazil, rather dismantling them in 45 mins of a game isn't an easy task. And since that momentous victory, the Dutch have only moved forward to the one place that they deserve- Soccer City Stadium.
I root for Spain, simply 'coz, they're my team this World Cup. I hope they win, because they have to play a better game than the Dutch. But, as a football fan, I only want this game to be as wonderful and exciting, as it expected to be, and finally, I want the best team to win. The World Cup needs a new and worthy winner, and the two teams today are the ONLY contenders for it!
GO SPAIN!!      

II/II Over!!

So exams are finally over. I sit here, pondering upon the last two weeks and thinking, I’ve done it!! Now, I only have to worry about studying after about two days. The past week and four days have been enlightening. Firstly, I know for sure that doing Pharmac just the one time, isn’t enough. My paper was no way better than last time, when  I hadn’t even completed my portion properly. And, today, the practical also sent across the same message. It isn’t just enough to have a chapter underlined and marked and coloured and full of charts. You need to know those charts by heart. My aim in the coming few months will be the same. We will, of course, have the entire portion now, for the prelims. If it has been tough the last two times, the prelims are going to be complete torture. ‘Coz there will also be two papers of each subject.

I have also learnt in the past week that my study method for Microbiology is pretty much what it should be. My paper was the best out of all my theory papers and the same can be said about the practical. This means I’m sure about a lot of stuff I have said and written. So, I love Microbiology and would love to make it my strong-point in the coming months.

Pathology still remains a kind of mystery. I loved it when we were doing General Pathology. And I hated it when we were doing Systemic Pathology. It is vast, and this time I haven’t read much of Robbin’s (a total change from last time, when most of the portion had been read from that thick little green book). I didn’t end up getting a lot of marks last time although my paper had been the best of all the three we wrote. I want to see whether reading Harsh Mohan makes a difference in the marks we get. I am going to finish reading up Robbin’s by the prelims, but I need to know whether it is going to be for the sake of reading it, or whether it is going to help me in getting the marks that I’m currently after.

PSM (Preventive and Social Medicine) has been labeled the disaster my third year, before the year even starts with the kind of crap it dished out to me in this term. According to the schedule of MUHS, students are tested on PSM in II/II. A 3-hr theory paper (with 3 compulsory 8 mark questions!!) and a 20 mark practical. That theory paper turned out to be the only paper I have EVER given without studying ANYTHING! The standard textbook is Park’s and it one hell of a boring book to read. I didn’t manage to do anything the whole evening before the exam. And then, the morning of the paper I came to know that there are notes available in PSM. I only managed to get the notes 2 hours before the paper, and I also had to have lunch. So, I went for the paper having read NOTHING. It turned out to be a disaster really. I haven’t written such crappy answers in such beautiful handwriting ever before! The practical was no better. The lecturer who took my viva, realized early into it that I did not know one small thing. I don‘t think I’m going to be passing in the subject this time.

FMT was pretty ok. The Department didn’t even know we had a paper! We started ah hour and a half late, because of all the confusion. They distributed éclairs as a penalty for forgetting that they had to conduct an examination J

Basically, I’m finally done with everything. Not everything, actually. My family-planning term-end is left, which will be held on Saturday. But I am free as such. I missed out on enjoying the Wimbledon and the Football World Cup, as much as I would have in another time span. But, luckily, Rafa and the Spanish Football team, have ensured that I have watched it all throughout. Congrats Rafa !! It was such a fulfilling moment to watch you lift that trophy! And I gotta say to Tomas Berdych ( I watched him beat Roger and Novak Djokovic), you are so totally all over the place!! It was great to see you play in the final, and I do want you to keep playing the brand and level of tennis that you are. Your serve…..simply sensational!

And that Football team! Switzerland seems in a different universe. I so want you to win the World Cup now!! You beat Germany! I am so proud of them all!! I hope to witness you guys raising that Cup as high as possible on Sunday :-)

I’ve actually had a great week. Guess, having exams did pay its dividends in some ways:-)    

My Brother BEST!!!!!

Rutwik, my younger brother, has made me the proudest and happiest sister ever!! His Std. 10 ICSE Board Exam results were declared on Wednesday (19th May), and he has topped the guys in the City with 97%!! He has got amazing marks and has finished with the highest marks in five out of seven subjects in his school. He got 100/100 in Social Studies and in Environmental Studies.
I am just so, so, so proud of him. Feel like screaming out the entire world that he has topped in the entire city. When my results were declared four years back, I had come 2nd in the city and had also beaten the Boys' Topper. At that time, it had felt awesome too. This time, with my brother appearing, I was hoping he'd manage to be the Boys' Topper. And he is!! Anything less than this would definitely have hurt a bit. he has gotten the highest honour (to call it so) there can be in this city.
His photos have been splashed in newspapers and today, my mom stands as the proud mother of two ICSE toppers with pictures in the newspapers with both of them :-) She obviously feels elated and extremely proud of my brother. But, I am completely over the moon. Hell, I'd never known what my brother felt when he heard about my results. I always wondered whether his happiness had matched mine. Today, I know what it feels like. And, we may not show it as much as the actually rank-holder, but our happiness can even go beyond their's!!
I've always felt and known that Rutwik was definitely the more talented of the two if us, and more intelligent too. If there was any one in the family who could have beaten the 96% I'd set 4 years back, it had to be him. He's meant for so many greater things than this, but I wanted this to be a start. And for all the crazy, sporty things he has ended up doing for last 10 years in his school (including all the complaints from teachers), he deserves this more than anything else. The guy is an absolute genius! And I want him to come to B.J. Medical College, but if there is anything, simply, ANYTHING, that can provide him with medical education better than that, I want him to go for it. Because he deserves every single bit of it.
As an elder sister, it has always been my responsibilty to take care of him, and to love him. It would pain so bad to see talent like him wasting away in the dirt of the playground in school. I would wish so many times that he understood what he really possessed. Today, I feel I don't have that responsibilty any more; because my brother has grown up, he has become mature and understands what he wants; because, he knows what he needs to do to get it; because he will do everything in his power and beyond to get it; because he is a winner with that killer-instinct, and knows it.
I am so proud to have a family like mine. My mother and uncles have been rank-holders too. My cousin has got almost every scholarship there is to get, and currently is working like a madman to get onto the Indian team for the Mathematics Olympiad later this year. Among the youngest cousins of mine, the elder of the tiny-tots is busy winning prizes and certificates for projects that even my Uncle has a hard time understanding! Oh God, I feel so so lucky. I love my family and I hope this streak of winners never runs out. I want us to become great people and make our parents and grandparents proud. I want us to be able to change the world in our way. And, I want my brother to keep working hard and weaving the magic that he has got hold of now. Thank you for everything bro!! You are simply the BEST :-)        

The Vacation Approaching

The two term-ends did end up happening. I should say that Anaesthesia was much much better than Radiology. Firstly, because we got new questions and I knew quite a lot of them. And secondly, because an MCQ test doesn't end up making the Examiner tired of looking at Students' faces as they come in and go out. We even discussed the answers after the test was over. I got around 20 of them. So that means I am safe and will not get a re-term on the basis of my marks. Getting a re-term on the basis of attendance is another issue.
Radiology was long, tiring and, in the end, very boring. There was just one teacher taking the term-end for 50 students..And I wasn't even from the current batch. So I had to wait even longer to get it done with. Finally, when my turn came, the only question asked to me was "What abnormality do you see in the X-Ray in front of you?" I replied, "Cardiomegaly" "How do you assess cardiomegaly?" "By measuring the Cardio-Thorasic ratio (CTR)." She then explained how to measure the ratio. We then talked about Echocardiography and that's that. She gave me 25. That hurt a bit. I wish I could have gotten a chance to tell her more about what all I knew. I definitely deserved more than 25. But the fact is that I finished off with both my term-ends. The headache and continued nagging inside of me has been trampled upon, even if that means that the numbers aren't very heavy. 
We now have Ohpthalmology. Three of us went to the OT today, but it is shut for some maintenance till Wednesday. I really wanted to go have a look today. Very disappointing not to be able to do it. I don't think I am going to have any enthusiasm left till Wednesday, so I'm going to turn my attention to what I had planned to do in the pre-vacation. I have to finish big chunks of my Pathology and Pharmacology portion till Sunday. I am trying my level best to get that done.

Two term-ends coming up!!....I hope...

I finally finished with all my Anaesthesia cases. Wow! A relief! I couldn't get sleep on Monday night thinking about how many of them I had left!! I kept telling myself that I should be able top complete three cases the next day so that I'd have a shot at finishing them all, well in time. The sleepless night paid its results, and today I stand (rather, sit) in front of the computer proud to have taken all 10 cases complete with the signatures and everything.
My Anaesthesia term-end is on Saturday only. We tried to make the lecturer take it tomorrow, but the attempt was pretty futile. I don't know how it is going to be possible to give two term-ends on one day. But, I want to finish off with both then. I don't want that Radiology term-end to get postponed to 30th May!!
I've started studying for the Terminal exams coming in the last week of June. I do hope I will be able to do just fine, and not disappoint myself once for a change.
That is actually it. Nothing else going on in college right now. The atmosphere is one of gloom, tension and exams...

On the Other Side of a Break

Radiology turns out to be a strange subject. The aura around it is amazing. It is one of those ungettable things, you only study for and wish to do your post-graduation in. It is a branch that has money, doesn't have a lot of odd working hours, and also makes you an integral part of the patient's treatment, but at the same time, you have to study beyond limit for the same. And, as we learnt from our posting of 15 days, it isn't a very interesting subject to listen to.

I guess, teachers do decide the love you tend to feel for anything. And, as good doctors as they may be, the people in the Radiology department did not turn out to be great teachers. We learnt something, but had it not been for my prior decision to include the subject on my "I'd-like -to-do-my-PG-in-this" list, I'd have hated it.

I still have to give my term-end. The break ate up 30th April, when I should have given it. But, since it was amazing, I don't care much. I'm hoping to give the term-end on 15ht May.

Moving onto Anaesthesia, man! it is one BORING subject!!! We just seem to be running around doing clerical work, copying cases down, and then having to listen to one lecturer screaming her head off at us, as if we were posted in the Department for that very purpose. I still have 7 more cases left, and I hope to finish them off in 2 days. Frankly, I'm not very interested in the subject. And, also I'm hoping ardently that Anaesthesia takes the term-end one day before the term ends (i.e., on Friday), so that I can be free to give the Radiology term-end on Saturday.

SO, the other side of the break doesn't have very exciting things coming up. It is gut-wrenching to have nothing to look forward to. But, I think the break came at a vert apt time, so I can't be complaining much, can I?

Psychiatry gives me a surprise!!

The 15 day posting ended on 15th April. Haven't exactly been the mood to write since then. Today, I am.

So Psychiatry. Wow! There is something, an inherent, ever-present sentiment.....a disbelief of sorts, that these clinicians can remain Doctors, sane-headed Doctors. It is interesting to listen to the calm and off-hand manner in which the patients speak. Stories seeming to be absolutely impossible, are said with such belief, it is SCARY. These people have a weird expressionless look in their eyes. Apart from that, extremely normal. And, of course, in our posting, we learnt about :

1. Schizophrenia

2. Bipolar Affective Disorder with Psychotic signs

3. Manic Episodes

Almost every second patient seemed to suffer from some kind of auditory and visual hallucinations.

That way, a very easy case to diagnose.

The Mental Retardation cases were heart-wrenching. We had a case of two 27 yr old brothers, who were mentally reatarded in the severest way. They couldn't utter a word , only identified individuals. Their father looked so old and worn-out and tired, I couldn't get his image out of my head for a very long time (stilll can't). The world is such an unfair place. Firstly, people are financially unequal, and to top that, the lowest class of people have to suffer from such disasters. Disasters that need the financial help to run a decent course, a course that is manageable. A mentally-retarded child is loved despite everything by his parentsm probably, even more because of his condition. It is killing to imagine, being in that 60 yr old father's shoes, wondering about the future of his two children, after he may be well beyond the capacity to provide for them....to imagine how he has spent all these years having to look after two children, he could never expect himself to hate or be taken away from him, and yet at times, wish for the same. It aches so much, and I felt relief, and still do, when he mentioned that he also has another son and daughter.

This is the only part of being a doctor that I don't like. Some patients, with the baggage they bring along, touch the most sensitive part of my soul, and almost always, I wish I could run away from it all, and never feel all this stuff.

Any way, I topped in Psychiatry. 37/50!!! It a second. After having got our Gynaec journals checked, the CR told me I did amazingly well in the term-end, and that our HOU was very happy with me. Now this. I feel previleged and lucky. I'm finally making some headway, and it feels like it. So satisfying, and a confirmation that I have chosen the right field.

Our current posting is Radiology. Very interesting. The best part of it is, the posting gets over by 11 30 am. So I easily get about an hour and a half in the library. Plus, I really like it, and the branch is one of my choices for a PG in.

My ICMR project didn't get selected. Only three out of like an easy 15, got selected. I'll still be doing it. The news was saddening, but I don't want my research being wasted, and I intend to see this project through.

Thats about it. We're going to Mauritius next week. I am SO excited!!! Can't wait! And I will write before we leave... I promise myself that.